[Une Pair]

Hello Everyone..

Thanks for reading this and thanks for all the forum moderators and care providers who are creating such a great community.

I've been living with BPD and ADHD for all my adult life. I'm now 35 and I think I have had it.

I can no longer cope with my self nor society. I feel disabled and I have to do something about it..

I'm in no position to acquire any professional help, neither logistically nor financially possible to enroll at any clinic or program.

My resolution so far is to seek meditation and mindfulness as my only option to create a life worth living.

I've decided to embark on a 6 months retreat where I will go into intensive meditation while observing noble silence. I'm not renouncing life. But I really feel the need to disconnect and "reset".

I've been meditating on and off for some time now and I think I'm up for such a challenge.

What do you think? Have you tried something like this before? How did it work out for you? What about professionals, would you recommend such endeavor?

My only worry is that I might be distancing myself more. Well my social muscle is almost non existent anyways but then that would be it for me?!

My second part of the inquiry is about recommendations for available retreats. Unfortunately, I won't be able to go to any of the expensive monasteries so I'm looking for advice re the most affordable and lowest budget options. Currently I'm looking into Nepal and Sri Lanka but need to pin point some viable locations.

Wish you well.
Haytham

I think it is not a bad idea if you can make it work. I don't think it necessarily has to be isolating if there is a good mentor and teacher. And students. You have to be the judge of that. Meditation is only one form of mindfulness so if you are concerned about isolation there are other ways to achieve it without traveling anywhere. Finding a way to get some guidance for a significant part of the day and spending time with people for other parts of the day is completely doable and probably as beneficial as long as you can maintain some structure. You aren't meditating all day in a retreat either. They key is regular and quality practice.

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

I think that, in essence, your idea is excellent. Here's my suggestion. Before you take on the really big commitment of six months, how about trying a one day silent meditation (if you haven't already)? Silent meditation is a very, very intense experience. Definitely amazing, but also highly intensive.

[ExistingInChanges]

Meditation has been known to give people answers they seek..a deeper connection to your innermost thoughts..you may be able to find answers regarding socialization there as well as from face to face practice, along with answers you did not know you had.

[Fuzzybear]

[Une Pair]

Thanks for your comments guys.

I'm seeking isolation, at least for a while. Mindfully interacting with people comes at a later stage, and so does finding a mentor or a teacher which is not an easy task.

Vipassana meditation is one form of extended full time meditation. I've done it before and I really liked it, so 10 days are the maximum for me so far observing full silence and meditating for at least 12 hours a day while doing nothing else.

It might sound insane to do that for 6 months. Well, maybe 3, I don't know. But again I feel the need to really empty my mind and stop thinking for as long as I possibly can. My mind is taking me no where and is driving me crazy. I need to give it a break.

I don't think I'm seeking answers per say. Rather, just acceptance and a little bit of satisfaction.

Vipassana meditation is very powerful. Since you have experience with intensive meditation, you know what you're in for. Go for it.