Need help loving myself and trusting others

henrydavidtherobot · 11:41 AM

I have been making tremendous progress in my recovery. I hope to be in remission in a year.

However, I have a hard time liking myself after I fail at anything. Mostly, it's social stuff. When I'm with someone I trust, I can be too open or talk about myself too much and feel like a jackass later. I know that everyone has flaws and that people accept and look past them, but I worry that people aren't willing to do that with me.

I will convince myself that people are talking about how crazy I am behind my back or secretly dislike me. I was making a lot of progress in getting past this, but finding out that a bunch of my coworkers do not like me set me REALLY far back.

This leads to a lot of reassurance checking, which is not healthy. I feel like I am also suffering from thinking that relationships are more intimate than they are at times. I am an extreme person and have a hard time with anything casual.

I'm currently wondering if my friend who I release a lot of my crazy to sometimes is judging me. We hung out the night before and I was fine but a little too talkative. He wasn't at my going away party. He is also friends with people who recently had an issue with me because I expressed being hurt my statements my coworkers allegedly said about me. I'm sure it's fine, but my head is like HE HATES YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE ANNOYING AND DIFFICULT.

I would appreciate advice before I move next week.

trying2survive · Apr 30, 2014, 11:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by henrydavidtherobot

I have been making tremendous progress in my recovery. I hope to be in remission in a year.

However, I have a hard time liking myself after I fail at anything. Mostly, it's social stuff. When I'm with someone I trust, I can be too open or talk about myself too much and feel like a jackass later. I know that everyone has flaws and that people accept and look past them, but I worry that people aren't willing to do that with me.

I will convince myself that people are talking about how crazy I am behind my back or secretly dislike me. I was making a lot of progress in getting past this, but finding out that a bunch of my coworkers do not like me set me REALLY far back.

This leads to a lot of reassurance checking, which is not healthy. I feel like I am also suffering from thinking that relationships are more intimate than they are at times. I am an extreme person and have a hard time with anything casual.

I would appreciate advice before I move next week.

i think that is just how we are, its hard not to worry about what other people think but that is simply what we have to do ( easy said than done right!)
i have found that i am waay to open in the beginning of a relationship & in this last one i got burnt really bad..it has made me a bit cynical and less trusting of people, i usually give people the benefit of the doubt but i think i am going to have to re visit that thought process.

i have learned not to worry about what other people think, because that suits me quite nicely, i found i feel better that way. as far as the co workers " f" them, with you moving you probably won't see them again anyhow..with a romantic interest it is much more difficult for me

being extreme is tough isn't it? i hate it at times, but when i'm in love, i love it it feels so incredible, just have to take the good with the bad. as far as thinking relationships are more intimate than they are maybe you need to have a heart to heart talk with these people and see exactly where you are at! hope this helps!

unaluna · Apr 30, 2014, 11:35 AM

I was a big over-sharer. I think it came from my trying to get thru to my family of origin, who really were not interested in connecting with me. I had to face that fact. I did that by getting close to my t. But i also did well whenever i got away physically from my family. Oh - which i also did these past few years. Duh. Dont try to be here and there at the same time. Just be there. Live your life there.

henrydavidtherobot · Apr 30, 2014, 02:08 PM

The guy saw my message thanking him for being there even when I am a handful and didn't respond. Odd.

ChaoticMess19 · Apr 30, 2014, 03:46 PM

I can relate. I tend to be a big over-sharer as well... and I also think relationships are much more intimate than they sometimes are. Your friend is probably not thinking bad things about you.. that is simply you doing it to yourself. I am guilty of this as well. It is difficult going from one extreme to the other. I have learned to not care what other people think. They are no better than I am. Good luck to you in your recovery. I wish you well!