Does everyone have to have a goal/purpose in life? I never understand why "professionals" ask this when part of you doesn't want to exist or is already dead. Are they just trying to make conversation or is it something we all should have??

[atomicc]

I'm not sure if it's something we all have but I know my purpose in life is to help people, as a therapist and to be a mother. At least those are the things I feel in my heart I was meant to do.

[Kimaya]

I am sorry you feel that way, and I wish I had some good advice on how to build your own identity and purpose... I am still exploring my own ways. I feel like finding a purpose or meaning in life is very key to weathering BPD.

Originally Posted by Sorcerer 666

Does everyone have to have a goal/purpose in life? I never understand why "professionals" ask this when part of you doesn't want to exist or is already dead. Are they just trying to make conversation or is it something we all should have??

Yes, having a purpose is the spiritual aspect of psychological health in most wellness models. It is something humans have or should have. It is part of what sets us apart from animals.

When a physician asks you that question they are gauging your wellness. BPDs generally have a lack of identity and purpose which means spiritually we suffer a bit more than a 'healthy' person.

If you would like to read more about the first wellness model and how purpose factors in, Google 'Wheel of Wellness" and take a wander.

[Espresso]

I have never had a purpose or understood the point of life.

Originally Posted by Sorcerer 666

Does everyone have to have a goal/purpose in life? I never understand why "professionals" ask this when part of you doesn't want to exist or is already dead. Are they just trying to make conversation or is it something we all should have??

because they know it's a driving force of people. it is what makes us move ahead and change and grow. If you hve no purpose in life, or at least are seeking to find out what that is, your motivation, ambition and desire to go forward is sapped of all lit's power.

Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006

because they know it's a driving force of people. it is what makes us move ahead and change and grow. If you hve no purpose in life, or at least are seeking to find out what that is, your motivation, ambition and desire to go forward is sapped of all lit's power.

I guess i've never had no purpose/goal. The older I get, my light is slowy going out. Thanks for the reply.

The only goal I have right now is to try not to feel emotional pain.

to work toward not having God be ashamed of me.

[Mustkeepjob32]

I think it is hard to feel you have a purpose when you're going through so much pain mentally. I am not doing well as of late and my "purpose" has been getting pretty blurry.

[Kimaya]

My goal is stability and limiting my pain.

My purpose is to become enlightened... sounds ostentatious sometimes but it gives me something to reach for. I am not leaving this world without answers. There has to be something useful about being able to feel this strongly, I have to believe that. I want to take my weakness and turn it into a strength. Yes, I dream.

[ifst5]

I'm sorry you're feeling this way. To try and answer your question, I guess it's because they also want to see how effective therapy might be - i mean from a more pragmatic view, how likely is someone going to apply the skills taught in therapy if they feel they've no real reason to get better?

I'm having a similar sort of problem to be honest, relationships and friendships are largely out of the question for me so my main concerns for a therapist would be how to manage a low pressure job and an ageing family who at best i can only learn to get on with better. I sometimes feel the expectations of professionals are too high - some people don't have 'regular' needs regardless of whether they're caused by a load of issues or not. I'd rather they help me focus on making choices to do with those situations than try and gear me towards more mainstream society.

[Kimaya]

Originally Posted by ifst5

To try and answer your question, I guess it's because they also want to see how effective therapy might be - i mean from a more pragmatic view, how likely is someone going to apply the skills taught in therapy if they feel they've no real reason to get better?

I'd rather they help me focus on making choices to do with those situations than try and gear me towards more mainstream society.

Wow, that is very insightful, I did not even think that they might be tailoring the type of therapy but it makes sense.

I always forget my experience is a little different sometimes since I have a semi-stable partner and many BPD do not. When I think of the future I think of being old with him, and my parents actually.

[Verity81]

Originally Posted by Useless Me

to work toward not having God be ashamed of me.

He isn't, he loves you!

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[JadeAmethyst]

I can relate to ifst5 being more honest and functional are close to my heart at the moment. At some point I decided that running a marathon, may not be for me, but a run may not work either.... walking fits my present reality though. Tee hee

[Skitz13]

A purpose in life. I had one before I got sick and now I'm going to have to change careers.

I guess my purpose is to be as good a Mom as I can to my adult children. They really missed out when they were young.

I think we need a purpose to keep going, something to live for, a goal, something to make us feel good about ourselves and help us to strive to do better, I guess