Is this BPD?

I know that I have BPD and that I'm having a really hard time with the Group portion of DBT.

Yesterday was Group Day and I felt like it was the best one I've had yet. I wasn't doodling in my binder "I want to die." I was feeling overwhelmed with the amount of homework and also that I just wouldn't be able to do some of what was being asked of us.

So this morning I'm a bit surprised to be feeling really bad again. I just can't do this. It won't help. It's just too hard. I might be able to do something to complete the homework, but making it a part of my life is just impossible. I'm 57. How am I supposed to undo or redo the way I am. Do I just not want to change?

Group therapy is extremely hard, I don't know anyone who likes group at the beginning. It takes me weeks and weeks to get comfortable enough to share anything. And yes, the homework is hard to do. There are weeks that I did not do my homework.

Change, even at your age is possible. I am just a bit younger then you (45) and stuck in my ways but I have seen change in myself. It does not happen as quickly as a 20 year old but small steps.

I am a sharer... too open actually. Its my self installed screening device. My therapist says I need to turn it off and be more careful of how much I share.

Anyway, I have never liked homework... I am trying to get the motivation to join a local DBT group, but I am not feeling it. What kind of homework is there?

I HATE GROUPS!!! Your probably set in your ways, and your way has become comfortable. Change is very difficult.

I'm 50 and I find that while DBT was insightful I still revert back to my old ways. It's conditioning, I think.

Hi, Kimaya. Every session is used to present a new "skill" and go over everyone's homework. Skills can be things like how to ask for what you need or want (Interpersonal skills) and Zen/Buddhist-type Awareness. Those are just the two that I've done so far. A good website is DBT Self Help. It is a huge commitment. Hopefully, it's worth it. I think it will be.

How long have you been engaged with DBT? I gave it ten weeks before going 'nope,' and i haven't looked back to be honest. Please try and seek out other forms of therapy if you can, there's nothing wrong with not being suited to DBT - and the taboo is a lot of people actually aren't. There are a lot of known methodological problems with it (being autistic myself the constant conceptualizing drove me nuts) and the crux is that there's still no actual proof it works. If you have the awareness to ask yourself your last question i don't think you need any of us to answer for you but i would add that it's not too late, you just need to find something that works for you. We're all individuals and march to the beat of our own drum - that applies to therapy too