[jean17]

We had "Graduation" for completing all 4 modules of DBT for two ladies in our small (4) group the other day. All our therapists and the other 3 group members had something nice to say and/or gifts and cards for the graduates.

I am totally embarrassed. It had never crossed my mind to say anything or to get anything for anybody. I sat there like an idiot, the only person with nothing to say.

I don't feel any connection to these people. None. Nada. Zip. Why do they all feel warm and fuzzy for each other? Why am I so strange? I don't know what, but something is terribly wrong with me. Why don't I have feelings? Why don't I connect with anyone?

[Kimaya]

I'd have done the same thing. Because I am a social idiot too (I mean that in the nicest way). And honestly, I bet they probably felt the same way as you, just they had more experience in the social skills department. They were all 'prepared' not 'connected'.

Don't beat yourself up... I know its embarrassing, but take it in stride and think about it for next time. Not that you will feel any different when you hand your cards and candy over, haha.... personally I would have been grinding my teeth at the ridiculous ceremony granted to underline its specialness (it already was without the cards, right? I mean at least the graduating part).

edit - and btw CG on completing your therapies!!! (I can't even make myself go... but I can tell you what, thanks to you I will be ready with my cards and platitudes at the end!) :P

[LemonZest35]

I think it's totally okay! What you have given to your group members throughout your DBT work is likely far more valuable than any token you could give on the last day.

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I would have done the same thing, too.

[ifst5]

To be honest i was asking myself the same thing for most of my life - turns out i'm autistic

Anyway, it wouldn't have crossed my mind to buy gifts for group members either - Brits aren't big on displays of emotion and to be honest i've never been convinced of how useful it is to treat others in therapy as 'friends.' Some probably just see it as a nice gesture...i personally find it a tad conceited. To each their own. Be well

[jean17]

Originally Posted by Kimaya

I'd have done the same thing. Because I am a social idiot too (I mean that in the nicest way). And honestly, I bet they probably felt the same way as you, just they had more experience in the social skills department. They were all 'prepared' not 'connected'.

Don't beat yourself up... I know its embarrassing, but take it in stride and think about it for next time. Not that you will feel any different when you hand your cards and candy over, haha.... personally I would have been grinding my teeth at the ridiculous ceremony granted to underline its specialness (it already was without the cards, right? I mean at least the graduating part).

edit - and btw CG on completing your therapies!!! (I can't even make myself go... but I can tell you what, thanks to you I will be ready with my cards and platitudes at the end!) :P

Thank-you so much. It feels so good to know that you feel the same way that I do about the whole "graduation" situation.

[Kimaya]

Helps me too Always sort of felt alone about this.... guess I'm not!