[spacegeek1]

Hi all.
I have always had intimacy issues.
I've sought it, but shunned it or even been scared off by the idea when it has presented itself.
Recently, we have been having problems in our relationship, which has resulted in this discussion this evening.
Basically, I have always felt uncomfortable with sexual approach, but see sexual motives in alot of situations, when there isn't. This has lead to some pretty embarrassing and heartbreaking situations.
I have dealt with my sexuality by denying it, as any expression would be wrong, or lead to God knows what.
My memories of my dad have been fond, but since he died 2 years ago, I have allowed myself to think and acknowledge that he behaved in a sexually inappropriate manner towards me, his daughter! Nothing horrendous, but wrong anyway.
Anger and confusion about physical or emotional intimacy has dominated some of my relationships since afolescence.
Now I told my partner of over 25 years, I am wishing I hadn't.
Therapy is very expensive, but I feel that I need to address this issue, which has only just been allowed to surface.
At the moment , I can post about it, but I feel scared for the future.
Burning bits of matches and candles or on 1 occasion, myself, has given some outlet ecently, but wtf?
Help!

[Astriferous]

Hey, I'm in the same situation as you. I'm extremely paranoid when it comes to sexual things because of abuse. I think that seeing a therapist would really benefit you, but if you can't afford it, it's probably not an option at the moment. There are a lot of great books out there on DBT and healing from sexual abuse. They've really helped me when I was starting to come to terms with my past.

[CalmingOcean]

Originally Posted by spacegeek1

Hi all.
I have always had intimacy issues.
I've sought it, but shunned it or even been scared off by the idea when it has presented itself.
Recently, we have been having problems in our relationship, which has resulted in this discussion this evening.
Basically, I have always felt uncomfortable with sexual approach, but see sexual motives in alot of situations, when there isn't. This has lead to some pretty embarrassing and heartbreaking situations.
I have dealt with my sexuality by denying it, as any expression would be wrong, or lead to God knows what.
My memories of my dad have been fond, but since he died 2 years ago, I have allowed myself to think and acknowledge that he behaved in a sexually inappropriate manner towards me, his daughter! Nothing horrendous, but wrong anyway.
Anger and confusion about physical or emotional intimacy has dominated some of my relationships since afolescence.
Now I told my partner of over 25 years, I am wishing I hadn't.
Therapy is very expensive, but I feel that I need to address this issue, which has only just been allowed to surface.
At the moment , I can post about it, but I feel scared for the future.
Burning bits of matches and candles or on 1 occasion, myself, has given some outlet ecently, but wtf?
Help!

My God... You just described what goes on in my head in regards to this topic....

[spacegeek1]

Originally Posted by Astriferous

Hey, I'm in the same situation as you. I'm extremely paranoid when it comes to sexual things because of abuse. I think that seeing a therapist would really benefit you, but if you can't afford it, it's probably not an option at the moment. There are a lot of great books out there on DBT and healing from sexual abuse. They've really helped me when I was starting to come to terms with my past.

Thank you for this.
I'll have a look for some literature. Maybe this will be the way to go, until I find therapy.