Back in April, I tried online dating for a bit, and went on two first dates. The first one fell flat and I never saw her again. The second one, however (with a different girl), was amazing and electrifying

I'd like y'all to tell me why you think someone would give up on a golden opportunity after an amazing first date ...

Right from the start, everything felt so natural and easy ... the smiling, the talking, the eye contact, me insisting on paying for everything, everything we did. I found it so easy to inquire about her life, and she conversed really well and openly with me. We're both from scientific professional backgrounds, we both immigrated from proximate regions of the world. She's only a few years older than me (most women I've dated were way older than me). There was also a fair bit of physical chemistry - we're both in good shape and take good care of ourselves.

We ate dinner, walked around downtown, hit a couple of bars, talked and even joked, and only went home when she was really sleepy ... close to midnight, and we hugged and she made it clear that she wanted to see me again. I think that, if we had stayed out later, we probably would have shared each others' body heat ... we had such good chemistry ! It was, by a mile, the best date I've ever had.

Afterwards, I texted her once every other day or so, enough to show interest and I made certain she knew I wanted to go out with her again, but I wasn't stalkerish at all. She showed NO INTEREST whatsoever, and the story ended there. Huh ????

Why would someone, after such a great first date, just let me go, esp without saying anything whatsoever ? How often does one have such great dates ?

[shezbut]

A couple of possible reasons come to me:

1.) Maybe someone she cares about came back into her life, right about the same time as your date with her??

2.) Maybe you misinterpreted her demeanor on your date?? Perhaps the great chemistry was more one-sided than you interpreted and she was just "'going with the flow"?

3.) Maybe she just needs a little bit of time to compare you to others on her list??

Those are the only thoughts that I had about the situation. Best wishes to you!

[Frankbtl]

Hi lilodian, I'd stand by shezbut's reasons as being entirely possible but I'll just throw in some more maybe's:
She might have been considering starting something......the dating/relationship thing but decided she didn't really want that, or wasn't ready for it at the time regardless of how well it went with you,
She might have just been looking for "a distraction" from whatever,
She might have been seeing someone else as well at the time,
The physical chemistry might have been more that she felt comfortable with you,
She might be the kind of person who just doesn't want to be "tied down" or finds it hard to commit to things (or people),
It might be she decided that you both had too much in common- for some people they do look for partners who are different from themselves.
Still, lots of possible reasons...........and they don't all have to be about anything you or she did wrong. Just don't let it put you off trying though, sometimes you're going to have to go through plenty of people, and plenty of "great dates" to find someone really right for you.
Just hang in there and good on you for "putting yourself out there"!! You know the old saying "If you're not in the game............" or something like that
Alison

Originally Posted by shezbut

A couple of possible reasons come to me:

1.) Maybe someone she cares about came back into her life, right about the same time as your date with her??

2.) Maybe you misinterpreted her demeanor on your date?? Perhaps the great chemistry was more one-sided than you interpreted and she was just "'going with the flow"?

3.) Maybe she just needs a little bit of time to compare you to others on her list??

Those are the only thoughts that I had about the situation. Best wishes to you!

Thanks so much, shezbut ! I'd bet on #2, although I'd want to think I read her right and #3 is just as likely.

Cute dalmatian pic

Originally Posted by Frankbtl

Hi lilodian, I'd stand by shezbut's reasons as being entirely possible but I'll just throw in some more maybe's:
She might have been considering starting something......the dating/relationship thing but decided she didn't really want that, or wasn't ready for it at the time regardless of how well it went with you,
She might have just been looking for "a distraction" from whatever,
She might have been seeing someone else as well at the time,
The physical chemistry might have been more that she felt comfortable with you,
She might be the kind of person who just doesn't want to be "tied down" or finds it hard to commit to things (or people),
It might be she decided that you both had too much in common- for some people they do look for partners who are different from themselves.
Still, lots of possible reasons...........and they don't all have to be about anything you or she did wrong. Just don't let it put you off trying though, sometimes you're going to have to go through plenty of people, and plenty of "great dates" to find someone really right for you.
Just hang in there and good on you for "putting yourself out there"!! You know the old saying "If you're not in the game............" or something like that
Alison

Thank you so much for your thoughtful response, Alison !

Yes, it could be any of those reasons. I wish I could find out ... otherwise, it's going to remain one of those great unsolved mysteries

[cboxpalace]

She's a woman! No matter what the reason is it'll never make sense.

Originally Posted by cboxpalace

She's a woman! No matter what the reason is it'll never make sense.

Hahahahahah, that is a good point ! Only, in my case, I feel that way about people in general - they don't make sense to me. Animals and machines make a lot more sense

Feed a dog, and it will wag its tail and lick your hand. Step on the gas pedal of a car, and, if it has fuel and the throttle valve works, the engine will rev.