[fletch33]

So, I accused my fiance of cheating on me last night. My proof of this? Absolutely nothing. In my logical mind, I don't have any proof at all that he is cheating on me. He's loyal as the day is long and I don't think he would cheat on me even if a girl would throw herself at him. Not only that, but all of his friends that are girls are in steady relationships.

So why did I do it? Boredom, probably. To get a rise out of him, probably. To stir up mischief in the relationship, probably.

Sometimes I feel so out of my mind when it comes to this relationship that I sincerely wonder why this guy stays with me. I don't get what I offer to him that he wants or that sustains him in any way.

And once again, I can't tell if this is just my crazy mind working or if any of these thoughts are realistic. I hate having BPD. I can't even describe how much I hate it. Every relationship I have is ruined or tainted by this illness. It consumes my interpersonal life.

Sorry for the rant. I'm just so frustrated today. Thanks to anyone that read.

Hi. I feel your pain. I've been there and done that.

I think it's our extreme insecurity that can cause us to think that our SO is cheating on us. It's hard to accept the SO's opposite-sex friends, and hard not to wonder what's really going on when we're not around them.

The strange truth, though, is that, the more we think our SO is cheating and/or accuse them of that, the more likely they are to end up actually doing it.

I'm sure you have a lot to offer your fiance, but are having a hard time seeing it because of the awful negativity that BPD brings with it. He obviously thinks you're special and has chosen you to wear the ring he bought.

I think the best defense against such problems is to construct a solid life for yourself that is independent of the SO. A routine that might involve hanging out with your friends, indulging in your hobbies, exercising, whatever. Me time ! Spend some time with yourself by yourself, realizing what you DO have to offer your fiance and this world Even in relationships, it's essential to maintain your own identity and your awareness of it. You are entitled to your life and your guy friends, as much as he is to his life and his female friends !

When we become co-dependent with the SOs, we run the risk of losing ourselves. If they then happen to leave, our world comes crashing down.

Hope this helps in some small way. Please be kind to yourself

Hello Fletch33: I hope that things have settled down between you & your fiancé since you posted this Thread. Relationships are difficult under the best of circumstances. And adding BPD to the mix just makes it that much harder. Perhaps you & your fiancé might consider doing some couples counseling together in order to help you both weather the BPD storm. My best wishes to you both!

[fletch33]

Originally Posted by The Skeezyks

Hello Fletch33: I hope that things have settled down between you & your fiancé since you posted this Thread. Relationships are difficult under the best of circumstances. And adding BPD to the mix just makes it that much harder. Perhaps you & your fiancé might consider doing some couples counseling together in order to help you both weather the BPD storm. My best wishes to you both!

We've already been in couples counseling. Things have died down a lot since this post thankfully. However, he's been off of his depression meds for a few days and is getting really irritable. Hopefully this will pass when he gets back on them. Yay for two people together who both have mental illnesses...