[XSleepingSiren21X]

This is my real question, I mean I'm still just new to BPD, but what I'm still confused about, is if I or anyone with BPD, can still have a alter, like another personality.

People have told me if it was an alter personality then it would be considered dissociate, but I've talked to my psychiatrist and she told me I show no signs as a dissociate, but I seem to know what I'm talking about that's like dissociate when I say I have a alter persona.

See I have a strong knowledge and personal evident's there is another person among me that isn't me. I'm like two people in one, which to others they say that it means I'm bi-gender. I'm fine with that, I don't know if that is what it is to be bi-genders or not, but I know I have another complete polar opposite in me.

I'm still in the process of knowing what triggers him to come out, but I definitely know he's there, he talks to me in my head and has random conversations with me sometimes, if I'm talking to people, but he's also sometimes in control of me at times, like the way I think and the way I talk. Eventually when he's in his 'element' as he would put is when he switches and has full thinking and mental, verbal control. He's not so much physical unless he's writing, typing or talking in some ways.

Like with him, he has a name, personality, characteristics and sometimes we imagine things together or he's at times helpful with certain situations, like talking me out of suicidal thoughts and attempts.

I know he's there and he switches out on and off again. I know only one way he's sometimes triggered in is when you talk about him or ask him a question personally. I mean, just when it's the right moment, when you talk about him, I feel excitement, so I almost know exactly that, it is him.

With him, he has everyday things he may do, without me knowing sometimes, either I have a moment when I'm blanked out or half way acknowledged about it he's doing something. For example, he has his own music that is opposite to mine, he has his own accounts he likes to be on sometimes, but through most of the time he'd rather play video games. There are specific clothes he likes to wear and there are stores he likes in specific. Most of these times I know he's just in control and he just wants to do what he wants, in fact most of the time he's getting what he wants, like where his clothes or wearing the accessories he's had me pierced with or wear.

Overall he has strong control and I guess I don't mind it all the time, I let him have what he wants, but also wanting what I want too. Most of it revolves around him yes, but it's only in me to be fare to him so he has what makes him comfortable while I do things.

I know with most bi-genders I'm in a spectrum of knowing which one I am, like modes and that. Sometimes I feel like we are equal and are both genders like, doing fun girl like productivity while dressed up like him. Or I'm feeling like no gender and I'm dressed up like whatever or doing nothing, but pacing.

Our modes are sometimes separated by days at a time or by hour. Right now, I'm not in any gender mode.

The triggers for my girl mode though are when I'm with my mom, painting our nails together, putting on shorts, with a colored tank, that's when I feel girl and am in my girl mode. Being in my girl mode, my boy mode or 'alter' doesn't matter for anything, in fact he's not there really, I don't know where he goes either, I'm guessing somewhere in my imagination. If he is, he distracts me to drag me in an imagination with him.

I asked him what he thought about me talking about him and he says he doesn't care XP

If being borderline means having a alter who my diagnosis is definitely wrong. I've never experienced it ? X