I posted a while ago about a gal that I'm interested in, and how she's been cold and distant towards me.

Well, last night, we were chatting on messenger, and totally out of the blue, the topic of relationships came up. I decided to grab the bull by the horns and tell her exactly how I feel about the way she treats me.

She finally admitted that she finds me very attractive and intelligent, and she loves my smile and my voice In fact, she mentioned that she has some sort of inferiority complex because she thinks I'm in "very good shape" and she feels like she can't keep up. I assured her that I had never expected her to "keep up", and that I always found her attractive just the way she is, and that there's much more to this attraction than the physical component ! If only she had told me this earlier, I would have assured her that I never meant to impose my fitness obsession on her.

Anyway, it was a very candid conversation, and she apologized for walking out on me every Sat morning and for doing all the other stuff that bothers me. And, we're going to give it another go. On my end, I agreed that I would go dancing with her, because it's something she really enjoys.

At least, now, the cards are on the table, and we both know what's what. What can I say ... I'm excited at the possibilities this opens up

[widgets]

I am so excited for you.

I am also glad she was honest with you as a result of you being honest with her!

Plus you are going out dancing with her so she is letting you in on her world which is great!

This is great news I would love to hear about how this progresses for you! X

Me too xxx

[cryingontheinside]

Great news.

Thanks, guys ! I'm trying not to get my hopes up, but it feels nice on the inside

Originally Posted by widgets

I am so excited for you.

I am also glad she was honest with you as a result of you being honest with her!

Plus you are going out dancing with her so she is letting you in on her world which is great!

This is great news I would love to hear about how this progresses for you! X

Yeah, even though I've always considered dancing to be my nemesis, I'll do it and even enjoy it if it makes her happy. I get the feeling that not too many things make her happy these days, so if this can be one of them, that would be great !

[Astriferous]

That's wonderful! Please give us updates, I'd love to hear how it goes!

This is over with. I told her I can't carry on like this anymore.

We went out for dinner, and I got the same lack of trust and "I've been disappointed by too many people in my life. I don't wanna take another chance." I've been hearing from day one. Nothing is going to change, not now, not ever.

I sent her some messages explaining how I feel - it hurts to be around her and feeling like I have to earn her trust. I've been stomped on by a ton of people too, and I'm way too nice a person to have to be put through this crap. I don't want to be the victim of her ex bfs, and I refuse to be in a relationship or even a friendship that does nothing but hurt my self-etseem.

Phew, that's a load off.

It hurts that I have to cut someone like her out of my life, because she really is a great person with a good heart, but being around her is about the same as dragging a knife along my skin, waiting to hit a vein ... too painful, and I refuse to hurt myself this way.

[Frankbtl]

Hi lilodian, I'm really sorry things worked out as they have for you
I can imagine it must hurt a lot, but it does sound like you did the right thing in ending it. And while it's got to be a big disappointment/really painful now.........if it had gone on I'm guessing it would have/could have turned out to be a lot worse, right?
So real respect in ending it where you did, and when you're feeling a bit better (if not now!!) then I'd say you should be really proud of yourself for the decision you made.
You do deserve to have someone who can learn to trust you (and you had known her for a while, right?), who will be committed to you and if not her then there will be other girls/women who will be able to do that.
But don't worry, I'm not telling you to get "straight back out there" ..........just for when you're ready, know that there can be someone better for you out there.
And if you want to talk right now................

Alison

I agree with Alison here. You deserve and will get someone who treats you right ur a amazing guy xxx

[Alone & confused]

Congratulations!! I'm so happy for you! I hope everything works out for the two of you! It's great to hear some good news for a change!

Originally Posted by Frankbtl

Hi lilodian, I'm really sorry things worked out as they have for you
I can imagine it must hurt a lot, but it does sound like you did the right thing in ending it. And while it's got to be a big disappointment/really painful now.........if it had gone on I'm guessing it would have/could have turned out to be a lot worse, right?
So real respect in ending it where you did, and when you're feeling a bit better (if not now!!) then I'd say you should be really proud of yourself for the decision you made.
You do deserve to have someone who can learn to trust you (and you had known her for a while, right?), who will be committed to you and if not her then there will be other girls/women who will be able to do that.
But don't worry, I'm not telling you to get "straight back out there" ..........just for when you're ready, know that there can be someone better for you out there.
And if you want to talk right now................

Alison

Thank you so much for the thoughtful response, Alison Yes, I'm better off just not having any illusions about her. I don't need anyone like her in my life.

People say "no" to me all the time. The gym never will.

Originally Posted by muaythailady88

I agree with Alison here. You deserve and will get someone who treats you right ur a amazing guy xxx

Thanks sweetie I'm proper gutted like.

Originally Posted by Alone & confused

Congratulations!! I'm so happy for you! I hope everything works out for the two of you! It's great to hear some good news for a change!

Thanks A&C It's over, but thanks for cheering me up The good news is that I don't have to worry about her anymore.

[Alone & confused]

Originally Posted by lilodian4ever

This is over with. I told her I can't carry on like this anymore.

We went out for dinner, and I got the same lack of trust and "I've been disappointed by too many people in my life. I don't wanna take another chance." I've been hearing from day one. Nothing is going to change, not now, not ever.

I sent her some messages explaining how I feel - it hurts to be around her and feeling like I have to earn her trust. I've been stomped on by a ton of people too, and I'm way too nice a person to have to be put through this crap. I don't want to be the victim of her ex bfs, and I refuse to be in a relationship or even a friendship that does nothing but hurt my self-etseem.

Phew, that's a load off.

It hurts that I have to cut someone like her out of my life, because she really is a great person with a good heart, but being around her is about the same as dragging a knife along my skin, waiting to hit a vein ... too painful, and I refuse to hurt myself this way.

I'm so sorry!