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#1
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Hi, I'm new here. I've known I have had BPD for two years, and I haven't been seeing a counselor for a bit....
I have 4 kids and I've been with my husband for 3 years but we've only been married a little less than one. Two of the kids are his, the older two are not, one is from a previous marriage, and the other was before I ever got married at all. I, like all BPDs, have intense, chaotic relationships. And I have recently fallen for someone that I've been friends with for 4 years, and who is a great guy. My husband and I fight all the time, and he has some emotional abuse issues, but lately he's been pretty decent. He also has a huge addiction to marijuana (which I know isn't really a horrible drug, but he spends ALL our money on it), however he is trying to quit (idk how that will go yet). But I've been seeing that guy that I'm friends with and having sex with him for a few weeks now and he wants to be with me and I'm seriously considering it. Idk if it's all my BPD being intense and falling hard and will have it mess up later, or whether I should.... I was honest and told my husband, and he wants to work things out with me and help me stop, but Idk what to do. I am so confused and I really think I do love my friend, but I also am afraid to lose my husband because he would take our son with him (and I know he'd win in court since I'm emotionally whacked out), and I can't lose my son. Idk. I guess I was just looking for advice. Since I know my emotions are crazy, I did a pro/con chart of non-emotional parts of it, and my friend is going to graduate this year with me from college and already has an offer for $75k a year, and my current husband only makes $8.50/hr four days a week, smokes a ton of pot, and makes me feel like crap most days. But my first marriage ended because I got with my current husband. So I guess it's a pattern for me. I don't wanna mess up my kids' heads, but I don't know what to do. |
![]() Travelinglady
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#2
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Hello, omdjt, and welcome to Psych Central! I encourage you to talk to a counselor. And perhaps you and your husband can get some marriage counseling. Divorce can really mess up kids--and as you say, this going from one relationship to another is getting to be a pattern with you.
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#3
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Yes, I see the counselor on Monday.
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