Not a good day today..I hate having BPD. I want to crawl in a hole and never come out.

[Piraeus]

I'm sorry you are going through such a difficult time.My name is Piraeus. I would like to help you feel better. Good days will come again. Take care of yourself.

Piraeus

[cryingontheinside]

Me too. I know its never going to get better. I havent got any fight left in me.

[vvector0000]

It's a pandemic.

My thoughts are getting 'sticky' ie persistent.. that's sometimes a precipitator of psychotic depression for me.

Glad I see my doc next week. Till then? I guess I have no choice but to feel like ****.

[Bradley29]

Me 3, BPD is so hard to live with. Emotional rollercoasters ugh! Get me out of here! I hope you feel better soon. There's got to be a light at the end of this tunnel!

[HD7970GHZ]

Hey Sorcerer,

I feel where you are coming from. I mean - I really do feel what you're going through. You are not alone.

Are you the type of person that likes to burrow into a hole and stay there when emotions go skyward? Or do you find that you need to be around others when it happens? I've noticed some people like to isolate and others like to go out and get social when they get triggered.

My experience with BPD has taught me the importance of having, "full access," to a hole that I can crawl into. However, I have also learned that I need to give myself, " a permissive kick in the butt," to come out of the hole once I have calmed down - otherwise I risk going into isolation and bringing on a whole 'nother world of pain. If I don't remain aware of the, "purpose," of my hole - I get stuck in the dark and can very quickly lose sight of why I had entered the hole in the first place...

For me, it's a careful pendulum act - to and fro - entirely meant as a form of boundaries that I can conjure up; in order to protect myself from making matters worse when my emotions get high and my logic goes out the window. It's as if I know from experience - that when I become emotional - I need to isolate myself in my hole so that I don't make mistakes in relationships or in other aspects of my life.

Obviously our tendency to make mistakes rises when we are experiencing our emotions and anxiety. We go onto autopilot - and off we go - doing the same old, same old. So in my point of view - having a hole is nothing to be ashamed of - it is absolutely necessary in order to remain balanced in our hectic, chaotic, dramatic and oscar winning lives.

My question is, are you currently in your hole? And if so - why are you there and for how long do you plan to stay there? What will it take in order for you to come back out?

Thanks,
HD7970ghz

Originally Posted by HD7970GHZ

Hey Sorcerer,

I feel where you are coming from. I mean - I really do feel what you're going through. You are not alone.

Are you the type of person that likes to burrow into a hole and stay there when emotions go skyward? Or do you find that you need to be around others when it happens? I've noticed some people like to isolate and others like to go out and get social when they get triggered.

My experience with BPD has taught me the importance of having, "full access," to a hole that I can crawl into. However, I have also learned that I need to give myself, " a permissive kick in the butt," to come out of the hole once I have calmed down - otherwise I risk going into isolation and bringing on a whole 'nother world of pain. If I don't remain aware of the, "purpose," of my hole - I get stuck in the dark and can very quickly lose sight of why I had entered the hole in the first place...

For me, it's a careful pendulum act - to and fro - entirely meant as a form of boundaries that I can conjure up; in order to protect myself from making matters worse when my emotions get high and my logic goes out the window. It's as if I know from experience - that when I become emotional - I need to isolate myself in my hole so that I don't make mistakes in relationships or in other aspects of my life.

Obviously our tendency to make mistakes rises when we are experiencing our emotions and anxiety. We go onto autopilot - and off we go - doing the same old, same old. So in my point of view - having a hole is nothing to be ashamed of - it is absolutely necessary in order to remain balanced in our hectic, chaotic, dramatic and oscar winning lives.

My question is, are you currently in your hole? And if so - why are you there and for how long do you plan to stay there? What will it take in order for you to come back out?

Thanks,
HD7970ghz

Yeah, i've basically been in isolation most of my life. I don't believe i will ever be able to "crawl out of my hole" as I don't know how. I've not had much happiness in my life...what i believe to be happiness was not real. I don't care much for people anymore. I've been messed up my whole life...just didn't realize it until I lost my mother a few years back and was diagnosed with this **** a year ago.

[jean17]

Originally Posted by Sorcerer 666

Not a good day today..I hate having BPD. I want to crawl in a hole and never come out.

It makes me feel so bad for you when I see that you are "crying on the inside". That is such a hard place to be. Just know that I'm thinking of you and hope that everything goes well for you.