[dazed17]

I'm not sure where the best place for this question is but as I have a BPD diagnosis I guess it should go in this forum...

Do any of you find yourselves rocking backwards and forwards for no apparent reason, particularly late at night?

I've started doing it when I get into bed. I've been on mirtazapine for a few days (to be taken at bedtime) and I understand it can cause some agitation as an initial side-effect. So the past few nights, I take it, I get into bed, and within a few minutes I'm sitting on the edge of my bed, just rocking backwards and forwards. It lasts 30-40mins. Then I go to sleep.

I have nothing really to be anxious ABOUT - so to my mind, as far as I can gauge it, I'm not fretting over anything specific. My parents are great and very supportive, my friends are pretty amazing, my boss says "Take as long as you need, come in and see us if you like, just be nice to yourself and we miss you", and I spoke to my credit card company this week and have arranged a drastically reduced payment arrangement.

I am, admittedly, coming out of a major depression that followed hard on the heels of a hypomanic episode. But at night, I just seem to become quite agitated. I can't settle.

Any answers?

I do this a lot, actually. When I'm agitated or depressed. I don't know why though.

[technigal]

I do it when really tired or upset. There are times that I notice it when I have not thought I was stressed but I was.

[Frankbtl]

Hi dazed,
First of all CONGRATS on coming out of the depression, that's great news and really pleased for you!!!!
And the having nothing really to be anxious about..........I'm not so sure you need something specific to be anxious about, to be anxious............sometimes there can be no identifiable reason, sometimes it can be lots of smaller things (things that don't seem that significant on their own) all building up and overflowing, sometimes you can even feel anxious when there are good things going on/about those.
But it could easily be a side effects of the new medication making things worse too. Doesn't mean to say that those side effects won't decrease or fade away, but...........
And the rocking, that could be attached to anxiety, but do you think maybe it could be a calming/relaxing motion against the anxiety instead?? Maybe something "grounding you"?? And if you're sometimes not feeling that anxious at the time..........then maybe it's working .
And at night maybe the agitation is more noticeable, because it's quieter, less to distract you, less to focus on??? Sometimes there can be an edge of hypomania on coming out of a depression (if you have mood swings or bipolar??) although that doesn't need to mean that you're heading straight back there, of course. Then maybe it could be the times you're taking your medication as well, when the effects are the most or the least strong??
Perhaps try to keep a log of everything going on for you for your next consult with your doctor/pdoc, might help a lot with them monitoring/reviewing your meds.
It's really good that you have supportive people around you though, people who seem to really care about you. You've clearly earned a lot of love/respect/support just from being who you are
And hopefully we can offer you plenty of understanding/support too, there are a lot of great people on here. So good to meet you, and welcome to PC!!!!



Alison