How do you know

I think my therapist is mad at me. I will ask him in next appt but in DBT class the last 2 times I got the impression he was not happy with my behavior. I asked him in a text and got the dreaded silent treatment. How do you know?

This is just my opinion .....

If your T is professional it is not their position to have emotions like "anger" towards their patients. Their job is to listen and offer advice. It does not mean that they have to agree with your behavior at all either but thinking they are "mad" kind of thinking is not healthy for you.

As for not replying in a text. Don't over analyze it. There could be a million reasons and I could offer a few suggestions as to why your text wasn't responded to but it would be mere speculation because I am not your T.

Speak about how you feel at your next appointment.

If you can, what specific behaviors do YOU believe are negative in your life right now, if any?

58 people reviewed but only 1 response. Does no one else have an opinion?

You need to be happy with your behavior? Are you? You're the only one in your life that counts.

What behaviors do you think your T is not impressed with? Do you disagree with what your T was saying? Is there something that you don't personally think was right with what your T said? I think if your T is professional, it is part of their responsibility to point out self destructive or negative behaviors. They're not there to simply nod their heads and appear in agreement. That would be irresponsible.

Also, you may be over analyzing this. I do this a lot with people and events I feel I can not control. I always imagine worse case scenarios. It's just how my brain works unfortunately.

And I get what you're saying about not that many replies to your post. When I first posted on the BPD forum guess how many replies I got? None! Boy did that make me feel unwelcome and ignored.

I don't like it when people don't reply to my texts or especially emails.

However, in this case this is something you need to bring up at your next session. Maybe your T doesn't reply to texts in general from patients unless it's an absolute crisis situation?

Hello Dancinglady, as you know that people with BPD sometimes read too much into a situation. Do you think that maybe you are reading him all wrong. Maybe he was having personal problems or maybe you are blowing this out of all proportion.

Best wishes

I think it's great that you wanted to check with your therapist regarding how he feels about you and whether or not he is mad at you. I'm guessing that perhaps something happened in group that made you begin to suspect that he might not have been pleased with your responses or behavior. One thing I know is that I had a tendency in the past to try and read the mind of important or significant people in my life (including my therapist on a regular basis ). And if I couldn't check to see if my perception was right or wrong immediately, I tended to dwell on the subject, picking it apart and making it into a bigger deal than it actually was. It's always good to check out your perceptions and talk about how your relationship is developing or going off the rails on a regular basis. I also have to say that I was always wrong when it came to me interpreting her as being mad, frustrated, angry, fed up or any other emotion. She just stayed steady and rock solid.

That said, it is never very productive to try and check out your perceptions or your therapist's reactions to your behavior via text or email. There is too many opportunities for many of us to draw the wrong conclusions or miss the mark in what our therapist is trying to tell us. How do I know that? Been there. Done that. Have the t-shirt. Much better to write your thoughts down and wait for your next appointment OR leave your therapist a voice mail and ask him to give you quick reassuring call back to set your mind at ease. Just my thoughts on the issue. I hope it works out.