[cryingontheinside]

Hi everyone. I know impulsive behaviour is a trait of bpd. I sometimes dont feel in control.
My impulses are related to my emotions and wanting to change them.
Some of my impulses relate around spending.
Ive often ordered a takeaway and then had no food or money for the next week or so.
I play games on my phone such as online poker its not with real money but i sometimes spend money on extra chips impulsively even if it means i will be behind on my bills. I have ocasionally done the same with paying to speak to psycics on the phone and even though the readings were phoney, i am scared that i am going to do it again. I feel like i have little control or willpower.
Does any one else feel like they are not in control of impulses? And does it affect your life or standard of living?

[ifst5]

Yes terribly so - i've spent nearly 3 years in a flat i've only just decorated, i still don't have a cooker and haven't even replaced a load of hazardous ripped flooring. All because i can't control my money and fall prey to impulsive spending. Like you i've gone without food, have taken out many a pay day loan and even so have struggled to pay bills on time.

It's a serious issue and affects someone's quality of life rather severely. I can only pin it on the constant feeling of emptiness i have, when nothing seems 'real,' surrounding yourself with needless stuff helps minimize that feeling even if it's just temporarily.

I'm sorry you're struggling with the same thing.

[Angelique67]

My impulsiveness is less with money (although I certainly do that too) but with moods. My impulse is to do nothing, so nothing is what I do, day after day after day. I hate this but because I'm in physical pain with my back I can't seem to force myself out of it.

[Mindful55]

Hi...I spend money on things I do not need. Goodwill likes me I guess I feel trying to fill a void of of emptiness

[Crazy Hitch]

I've got a habit of buying repeated things that we already have in the pantry which has got what we already have. Really don't know why I do this. It's like hoarding food. Who needs 5 boxes of pasta. I think my husband just rolls his eyes when he opens the cupboard.

Years ago I impulsively got tattoos and piercings which I regret. Getting the tattoo on my arm lasered off but I'm leaving the one on my lower back.

I have zero restraint when I'm angry with someone and impulsively told people I'm going to punch them in the face. Not sure if this example is related to impulsivity or mood but I don't think twice when I'm angry.

my impulse is texting... texting and texting oh n overeating to the point im sick.. then il buy moe and eat and have no money fpr the week... i think its a vicious cycle and i liek buying things for people ( such as little gifts for family, bf etc) and end up with no money to get to work, school etc xxx

[Starling.]

Yes. Only sometimes. The majority of the time I am quite sensible. Possibly on the boring side :P But then I have periods where I can be stupidly impulsive, though I don't really recognize it at the time. It isn't consciously about wanting to change emotions. It's that usually there's a space between thinking of something and actually saying/doing it where I get to decide if it's something I really want to do or say, but sometimes that kind of disappears. Picking up the pieces is not fun.

Is there anything that would help, like having 'rules' to stick to about spending, or having a separate savings account so it takes just that little bit longer to access money to spend?

[Angelique67]

I go through months where I'm very impulsive with money. I also buy multiple grocery store items but I do use them up (10 boxes of Kleenex, etc.). When I'm not spending I forget that over the summer I spent half my savings!

[cryingontheinside]

Thanks everyone, i had thought it was just me. I get really mad at my self.
I am sorry for all of you who are affected by it.
At the time when i am doing it i know i shouldnt but the impulse wins.
I agree with the empty feeling. I am always needing to fill a void like something is missing.
No one deserves to feel empty 24/7. None of you deserve to feel this way. I hate feeling like this and i wouldnt wish it on my worst enemy.
I wish i could fill that void for each of you, for my self too.
I dont want to get too deep but its so unfair that we have to go through our whole life feeling this way.
you are all in my heart. We are connected through our suffering.

[shezbut]

My impulsiveness is pretty bad right now. It does seem to be worse during certain times than others. I can't figure out what drives me during those periods of time though. I also struggle with loneliness deep inside of me.

Sometimes, I am able to not pay much attention to the emotional darkness. I am a little stuck on whether or not I should be paying any attention to it. I don't want to reinforce these thoughts and feelings to keep visiting...ya know what I mean? I have so many thoughts and emotions lately, I'm just having a heck of a time figuring out how I feel! UGH...

[Lonely Starseed]

Hey,

I do the same! Im trying to stop myself whenever I get an impulse to buy something I dont need. My last fail was 2 days ago, so next week im living off beans!! Its like I have no control sometimes. Very frustrating.
I keep on trying though.

Sent from my GT-I9100 using Tapatalk 2

[cryingontheinside]

Hi shezbut,
Sorry that your feeling that way. I get that too, that deep lonely feeling and at other times i dont feel anything. I think i try to block my feelings but it comes to a point where they all burst out and its overwhelming. I feel so alone yet i am the one who keeps people at bay. So i am lonely of my own making. I feek like having bpd is a type of emotional torture and emptiness, professionals would never speak badly of bpd sufferers if they had to have it for just one day.

[Espresso]

I'm very impulsive when I'm angry or upset. At other times, I eat, drink, and spend impulsively. I don't know if it's all BPD or something else. It's hard to tell where one disorder ends and another begins.

[jeremiahgirl]

Lately, I've been like a monkey swinging from limb to limb! Right now my impulse is wanting to to just punch a wall. My emotions are running like the blood in me and at times I feel a really need to release these intense emotions. I settle for short periods then I'm ready to fight again. 😒 my Doctor is a source of real anger right now, I missed a scheduled appointment (because the transportation company for the state) forgot to pick me up!!!!! Therefore the doc is saying I need to pay her 75.00! Grrrrrrr! I also fell down today in the apartment and hurt several areas on my body. Nothing broke just sore!!! Then I had a issue with my apartment complex so my emotions are like jumping up, down! Grrrrr! I go total blank with skills to help myself because I'm so upset. So yes I struggle... I also spend and then get upset with myself (therefore the cycle starts again.) 😞

[animal87]

I didn't think I was impulsive at all until I sat down and thought about it. I drive too fast. I react too quickly. I spend money without thinking although i never put myself in debt. I have very little emotional control as well. It's not always a bad thing though. I just bought my wedding dress on impulse yesterday which does mean I don't have to go trailing round looking for one and still come back to the same place. I also tend to get good deals on things because I buy them when they are on offer and keep them in stock.

[blackchrysalis]

I have a huge impulse behavior problem. I spend, steal, overeat, jump into relationships, etc... You are not alone. Being 27 years old and stealing is embarrassing, but it's so hard to control.

[Cheskey]

Yup, whenever I walk into a charity shop I literally NEED to buy the things even if I won't use them. Sometimes online if I like it enough. It's not too much of an issue bc I'm 18 and so still live with my parents and rely on them, plus I only spend like £10-20 at a time. The issue is if I don't buy it I get really agitated and panicky?

Though in other areas, I OD'd on impulse once, have hurt myself due to it etc etc. I do impulsive stuff when euphoric too, though, most of the time it's dangerous.

[cryingontheinside]

Im sorry that you all have this problem too with impulsive behaviour.
Thanks for your posts its been insightful and makes me more aware of others having similar problems.

I agree too that i am more impulsive at certain times. The more stressed upset or angry i am the more impulsive i became.
Maybe its because we are trying desperately to change how we are feeling? It doesnt work though. I usually feel worse.
I often over eat and smoke alot too like i am trying to fill this emty void.
I am on a diet now though so i hope i can loose some weight.

[Jebo94]

Without a doubt I have an issue with impulsive behaviour. And the more I think of it the more problems I can find..... Spending to much, driving to fast, eating to much or to little, self harm, OD's, anger, relationships, texting, drinking.... The list is endless! I guess it's a case of feeling something when you normally feel empty

If anyone has ideas on how they've delt with stuff I'm sure all would gratefully take it!