[Achy Turtle Armor]

Today was about 90 days that I have spent living at my friends home. I left my home on July 21st and checked into the psych floor of the hospital here in town. Ten days later I moved in here.

Now, my divorce is final except for the judges signature, tomorrow my ex-husband moves back to the UK, and I move back into my home after work. I get to be with the dogs now. I get to do so much that I couldn't do before. I will be happy to go home after work now. I will be able to buy things without getting the 3rd degree. I will feel more relaxed at home. So why am I so scared? Why does this feel frightening? I know some of it is that I am afraid I will go down hill if no one is around to "watch" me. I think I post on this daily now.

Why the f*** is my T not supporting me through this? I mean I really feel like he packed up his $hi+ and left me alone. The only reason he probably responded to my text and called me today was that he was probably worried that I was asking to be put IP again.

How are the dogs going to deal with their "daddy" gone forever? How long before they stop looking for him to come home? I can tell you that it will take longer than 3 months because he sent me photos of one that spent a lot of time waiting for my return. She'd sit in my chair and stare at the front door.

[JackBlack]

Cute dogs

[ifst5]

The reason you're scared is because it's still an unknown - we know what should happen in certain situations, we have our expectations and plans...but it's still not 100% certain hence the fear that something, anything, could go wrong.

I would advise preparing anyway, it's a good tool for combating anxiety. Have some fun dates scheduled in ready, plan new walks for your dogs, get them some new treats so that they start associating this new period with fun and excitement. Redecorate, clear stuff out, start actually making this YOUR home now. Not a place full of old memories which in all likelihood is also contributing to the fear - when you're unsure about how things will proceed, the last thing you need is to be confronted with nothing but signs of a failed marriage.

Go on Pinterest and look up crafting ideas - i love this because accessories and decorating can be very very expensive but they have lots of ways of making beautiful things for your home that cost barely anything and will help keep you busy. We're also coming up to the holiday period and regardless of whether you'll be in company or alone it's still a good time to do plenty of things for yourself. See it as like a celebration of the end of a difficult year and the beginnings of something better. Really indulge the idea - go Christmas crazy if you have too. Now is the time to make it all about you - if anything you'll be distracting yourself from any current issues and creating better memories to help cap off the year.

If you're going to launch into things - do it with the very best of intentions. My favourite expression is that we're not failures for having failed; only if we haven't tried.

All the best to you.

[Achy Turtle Armor]

Thank you so much for the time you took to read my post and reply. I am going to use your suggestions.

[Pierro]

This is a new chapter in your life and it is scary. Even though you were unhappily married, there was a comfort of sorts there. You are on your own again, but, you are your own person now and not have to ask anyone's permission. The dog's will have to get used of him not coming home as you will too. Give yourself time to get used of this new life.

Best wishes

[Crazy Hitch]

I agree. It's the fear of the unknown and you're moving into new territory.

It may seem a little strange at first. You should give yourself some time to adjust and settle in.

Your dogs are precious. They are going to be so glad to see you home. They are resilient and so long as you give them as much love and attention they are going to be okay.

Be well and allow yourself some time.