[Adelyn]

Has anyone here overcome this disorder, or know someone who has?

I've read and been told over and over again that it often improves with age, particularly over 30. I've also read that it IS possible to overcome this disorder.

I'm 33 and I no longer meet enough of the criteria to be considered Borderline.
- Not impulsive
- No cutting or self harm (this was never my thing to start with)
- Not promiscuous
- No more identity disturbance
- No more grandiose thinking
- No more black-and-white thinking. No more idealizing someone else and then thinking they're the cause of all my problems.
- I hold myself accountable for my actions.
- No dissociative episodes.

And:
- Rages are less frequent and less severe. About once a month, lasting five minutes to several hours, and I am not violent, I do not engage in name-calling, I do not say nasty things, I do not make threats of any kind, I do not break things.
- Passive-aggressive behavior has also been minimized.

But:
- I still get depressed off and on.
- I am still pretty sensitive and at times hypersensitive.
- I get overwhelmed easily.
- I have not been working consistently. I never have.
- I take pills (mild sedatives) to cope.
- I watch a lot of movies, as an escape. It's not productive.
- I am in an abusive relationship. My husband is both emotionally and physically abusive. The physical abuse is minor, but still. This would mean I'm "self-destructive" or don't value myself highly, both Borderline traits.

So anyway, I'm not "cured" or functioning at a normal level, but I have proved a lot. Years of therapy, trying every med in the book (none worked, or sure effects were to bad, as I have severe allergies), and really pushing myself to improve has helped. Still have a long way to go. I'd say I have "Borderline tendencies" now, rather than Borderline.

Well that's me. Wondering if anyone here has overcome the disorder, and if so how long did it take and what did you do to overcome it? Or has anyone improved a great deal? How? And was this age 30 thing a milestone of sorts, or really just getting older in general?

[Crazy Hitch]

Hi Adelyn,

Good question.

I have heard of members who no longer fit the criteria for a full diagnosis for BPD but they still display some risidual traits that don't entirely go away.

Perhaps a slight factor would also be age of diagnosis, I was only diagnosed this year at age 36, so I've got a loooong way to go. I don't know really, me personally, if I'd ever be symptom free. I just don't know. But I'm working towards recovery with my T.

I hope to hear from other members who can come and share their stories too. Thank you for sharing yours. Take care.

[allme]

Hi

Well done! It sounds like you have certainly made progress! I have also been making progress...it is a wonderful feeling!

I am really concerned about what you said about being in an abusive relationship....I guess you already know how bad it is for you and how it will hinder you from making progress in certain areas of your life.

Do you plan on staying with him? I used to be in an abusive relationship so I know it isn't as simple as 'just leaving'..it took me 4 years and a lot of pain to do so.....I am sorry you find yourself in this destructive relationship

[sidney1771]

I don't see any reason why a person can't overcome BPD. Other mental illnesses such as SAD, insomnia and sexual dysfunction are usually diagnosed, treated and then cured, successfully treated or go into remission. As long as you and your doctors feel that treatment is no longer necessary, I would consider you to have overcome the condition. Do you still need to include it in your medical history...yes, but it isn't active.

[Mimielam]

I really think that with time, help and therapy we can learn to deal with part of it. I also think it takes a lot of time. first, accepting is hard, than recognizing the traits, the patterns, the behaviours, the emotions. I also think that we can overcome so much at one period in our life and than more along the way. I only know one thing for sure, it does get manageable and yes some things do change...But some are always tucked away and can come creeping up if you don't listen that little voice that says...oh oh, you are doing it again.

((Adelyn))

I also agree with ((Allme)) Please get some help about abusive relationship. it's starts with insults, degrading, isolating, than a slap here and there and soon will get worst, There will be really nice times but it won't last, it's will just go on and on. It takes a lot of courage to talk about this and there is help for this call a help line, a women's center.

Wow, this is such an awesome topic ! Thank you for posing the question.

My honest opinion, as a sufferer for more than 18 years, is that this condition will NOT improve unless you do something about it. Whether you're 30 or 50, it will bite you unless you actively seek improvement.

I am 31, and my story, at least superficially, is remarkably similar to yours. I also feel like I no longer meet all 9 symptoms (I did, in the past), or even the minimum - 5, but just have tendencies now.

For me, doctors and therapy did NOT help AT ALL. I feel that all of my improvement can only be attributed to my own hard work alone. I also am a loner, with ZERO social support - no friends, no girlfriends, no supportive family. I did this all by myself, really.

I did also feel that 30 was a milestone, but only because I have constantly been striving to improve, and working very hard at it. But, what is much more important than the age, is that I realized, after many failed attempts, that one needs to work smart, not just work hard.

What I mean is - at some point, one needs to realize that, the past is not going to get better, you need to process and move on from it. The world is not going to adapt to you, you need to adapt to it. Others will do what others want to do, the only thing you can control is how YOU react to them. Once you make these fundamental realizations, improvement can begin in earnest.

Another key thing for me was - to let go of the label "BPD", and think of my challenges in more ordinary terms. I tried to tackle the symptoms separately and as just being part of the human condition, as opposed to being parts of a "personality disorder". Letting go of the labels (I also fit "Bipolar Type 2") helped me a LOT.

I have seen significant improvement with many of the symptoms - anger, particularly. In the past, I had horrible road rage to the point of doing something utterly suicidal. Now, I just tell myself, "It's not worth it.", move over to the right, and let the tailgater pass.

In short, yes, I think this illness can be overcome, it requires very hard (and "smart") work, age is not so much a factor as are life experience and reflection and contemplation. I am just beginning to see improvement, and I am VERY excited to think about the possibilities opening up for me and what the future may hold

Wish you the very best of luck with your recovery Feel free to PM me. We seem to have similar recovery paths.

[aprilmayyrocks]

For a few years, my bpd was in remission and I didn't meet the criteria for the diagnosis anymore.
Due to some major life event changes and other things, I am now right back where I was before I began DBT treatment.