[FlowerChild67]

The last few weeks have been very harsh, very deeply depression, complete loneliness, and emptiness. Right now I am at the lowest I have ever been in my life, I feel worthless, useless, and no reason to be here. The emotional pain is large and very painful. This is the worst I have ever been. I wish I was never born, but the bad part is I have had some suicidal feeling, but because I have a son, who would be devastated if I were to die, I will not act on those feelings. I have no emotional support system (Family/Friends) and no professional help either.

As for my physical pains they are very strong as my MS is acting up and I took a major fall earlier this week and my right knee and lower back are very messed up.

[Bubbles&Buttercup]

I'm so sorry you're going through this, it's always hard and even more so when you're alone through it. I'm glad you've got your son to keep you going even when the dark thoughts come in.
Try to keep distracted and do things that make you happy (I know that's easier said that done) and remember that the people on here are there for you.
I'm currently stuck without much support in a new area so I understand the immense loneliness that you're feeling and it's brought me back to this site and helped me through one of my worst nights in a long time.

I don't know your situation but definitely try to look for some suitable professional help when you can, I know I'm missing that and need to find someone.

Hope things improve soon!

[shezbut]

((((SamanthaAnne))))

I am sorry that you're feeling so down upon yourself in life. I can really relate!

I keep a Christmas ornament in my bedroom year-round: it's the word, "hope", hanging on a simple ribbon. I cannot tell you how many times per day I look at that ornament to remind myself. It really works for me. Perhaps a simple reminder like that would do the same for you?? Something worth thinking about, anyway.

I hope that your MS eases a bit. (((hugs)))

[FlowerChild67]

shezbut I have a picture from one of my favorite places I look at it when I am down it helps a little.

[Crazy Hitch]

[katluvzpurple]

Wishing you all the best... I know what it's like to want to die (I just got released one month ago from hospital psych ward after a suicide attempt). But, I can tell you that I'm glad I'm here. I still struggle with the pain of wanting to give up, but I get reminders that I cannot "fix myself" immediately. What I'm trying to say is to please hang in there. Talk to the good people on here, and reach out to anyone you can. You can always call the suicide hotline if you ever feel desperate. That's what it's there for, and you're worth it. I'd love to chat and exchange helpful advice via private messages if you'd like too. I'm here for everyone, and I sincerely thank this community for helping to save me back.

[FlowerChild67]

katluvzpurple thanks for the offer I sent you a private message. I am happy that you still with us and your looking up and getting better.

[allme]

Hiya

Sorry you're feeling so bad...hang in there, better days will come

[Fuzzybear]

So sorry to hear about your symptoms

I guess I would find a distraction that would keep your mind occupied and away from the negative thoughts. Are you able to find a distraction ?

Happy holidays to you. Please try to think of something fun and positive, thought it is hard. Maybe do something nice for your son.

P.S. Not that it matters, but I'm visiting beautiful Astoria right now, and am actually gonna be in Portland tomorrow. What a beautiful state you live in !

[FlowerChild67]

Yes Oregon is a very beautiful state you just happened to be here on a few dry days. Portland is different so don't be surprised we have garbage on street corners and they call it art. My son live with his other parent 625 miles away and I was suppose to see him this holiday season but due to job loss and having no money I don't get to see him I am very depressed about this.