[dancinglady]

How do others deal with not accomplishing life's milestones - career, high excelling grades and Ivy League college educations being in the in-crowd marrying a high level physician or CEO having the energy or high self esteem and worth not having to depend on therapists pdocs counselors and other mental health workers.
I am going into a heart test tomorrow thinking about the end if my screwed up lost opportunity life dealing with MI all if these lost years.

[Lemon Curd]

I went through stages of grief.
In the end.
I forgave myself.
I forgave my past, & genes.
I thoroughly accepted myself.
I must.
I do not have the energy to constantly beat myself up.
I am tired.
Acceptance.

[Frankbtl]

Hi dancinglady, really hoping your test has gone OK, please come straight back at us if not
But as for not accomplishing milestones, I'd say that some of that can come down to interpretation of what a milestone or a real accomplishment actually is. For example high grades don't have to be a milestone or a real accomplishment, but for some people "just" making not so bad grades, or "just" making it through school or "just"...........can be a massive milestone, a massive accomplishment and something they should be seriously REALLY proud of themselves for.
And you know stuff like "Ivy League college educations being in the in-crowd marrying a high level physician or CEO" doesn't automatically say that you're any better of a person than anyone else. In fact some guy/woman living on the streets, struggling with drug abuse/alcoholism, MI issues............can still be a much better person because of who they are on the inside or/and how they are coping, than that person IMO.
And for me just being that person who has it going on on the inside or making it through............whatever the circumstances is much more important than "milestones" sometimes.............and sometimes just random things you might do once in a month, six months, year............that are really meaningful even just to you, even just to one other person count just as much.
And last thought thinking about MI.........."just" admitting/recognising you have a problem and then "just" reaching out for help with that at times can be a massive milestone, a massive accomplishment........for me that is a real sign of strength, a real achievement........something you should be proud of yourself for hey??
And I'm sure you have plenty of things to look back on and say........"I did that...........!!!!". Matter of interpretation, hey???

Alison

[JadeAmethyst]

)))))))))))))))))))))))Dancinglady(((((((((((((((((((((
I hope your stress test will be positive for you. Please let us know how it turns out for you. Keep posting we're right here with you.

[dancinglady]

No further work up needed per doctor. He thinks there might be some black age but was too small for the stress test to pick up. I am suppose to see him
In a year just to keep tabs in me. Thanks for all of your support during this anxious time.

[avlady]

there seems to me to be a certain type of stereotype that is way off in society. i agree. some people think a drs or other letters next to their name with a certain school ring on doesnt mean that person is actually qualified for a certain job or other undertaking. others even street people are smart in their own ways too. situations and other people sabotage the system every day, maybe in a more intellectual way, but are really harming others lives.

[Trippin2.0]

Who decreed those milestones???


I thought milestones were more like, eating solid food, sitting up, crawling, walking, talking, etc.


Those type of things HAVE to happen in a healthy developing human.


The "milestones" you mentioned are completely OPTIONAL goals...

I know women who plan to get married and become stay at home moms...

They wouldn't view a lack of Ivy League education and career as missing any particular milestones...

How do I deal?

I've tweaked my goals, to suite my needs. Which was actually pretty damn easy since I could never make up my mind and stick to a path to begin with.

Stupid identity disturbance.


I'm admittedly not moving along this path as fast as I had hoped, and I have to remind myself not to compare... Because *****it, I have boulders in my road other people don't have to contend with!

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((( dancinglady )))))))))

[Crazy Hitch]

Still thinking of you dancinglady

((((Hugs))))

[allme]

You can only do your best, there are no rules saying where you should be at any point in your life and no way can you judge your life based on what others are doing; what makes one person happy isn't the same for everyone. As long as you are doing what you are personally are capable of, I see no waste there

I deal with not accomplishing those things simply by realizing that those are not things I want, they are things society and the media tell us we should want. I know what I want, and I'll work hard to obtain those things, but if I'm not able to, no big deal ... not everything I want is in my control. I want:
- To have a wonderfully simple, intelligent, feminine, and adventurous woman in my life.

The rest must not be important because I can't remember wanting anything else.