[NoChildSupport]

Have any of you harmed yourself to keep from hurting others? Sometimes I cut myself or bruise myself to keep from "lashing out" at other people. When something hurts my feelings or I perceive something the wrong way, instead of getting angry or going off at the person, I'll go & cut myself up instead. I know that putting people through an emotional roller coaster will not only push them away but also affect their well-being in some way. I don't want them to withdraw from me & I don't want to stress them out. I have absolutely no other way of letting go whatever bothered me. There is no "letting go" for me. My brain's not capable of it. If I try to look past something that I think is a negative sign, the thought will just keep coming back & eating at me until I can't take it & I blurt out a bunch of paranoid nonsense at someone. It's better to just be mad & take it out on myself instead of the person. I mostly use self harm to feel that sense of control, but sometimes I use it to get rid of the negative feelings of someone offending me. Other things don't help as much as they are merely distractions that I eventually get bored with.

[Espresso]

Yes, I can relate to that.

[dancinglady]

Originally Posted by NoChildSupport

Have any of you harmed yourself to keep from hurting others? Sometimes I cut myself or bruise myself to keep from "lashing out" at other people. When something hurts my feelings or I perceive something the wrong way, instead of getting angry or going off at the person, I'll go & cut myself up instead. I know that putting people through an emotional roller coaster will not only push them away but also affect their well-being in some way. I don't want them to withdraw from me & I don't want to stress them out. I have absolutely no other way of letting go whatever bothered me. There is no "letting go" for me. My brain's not capable of it. If I try to look past something that I think is a negative sign, the thought will just keep coming back & eating at me until I can't take it & I blurt out a bunch of paranoid nonsense at someone. It's better to just be mad & take it out on myself instead of the person. I mostly use self harm to feel that sense of control, but sometimes I use it to get rid of the negative feelings of someone offending me. Other things don't help as much as they are merely distractions that I eventually get bored with.

Welcome back. Did u move to your fathers. What happened with cousin (second mom)

[NoChildSupport]

Originally Posted by dancinglady

Welcome back. Did u move to your fathers. What happened with cousin (second mom)

No, now I have to wait until the middle of March to move. I'm talking to my cousin again. I have to tread lightly & she does the same. She's one of the few people who I'm talking about in this thread. I'm doing my best to keep from pushing her away.

[dancinglady]

By the way you were talking I assumed that.

[Crazy Hitch]

Thanks for sharing NoChildSupport

The self-harm forum has also been useful for me.

Take care.