Not impressed with new life prospects

I didn't drink tonight because I made a huge fool out of myself the last two times I drank last week and because I'm in a mixed bipolar state. I'm attempting to restore my sanity.

I didn't embarrass myself. Cool. I didn't set myself up for a depression later. But I only had an OK time. This is usually my day to really let loose with my friends. There's a human element that has artistic merit that usually comes with the Irish Pub drinking I do with fellow expats.

Not only that, but, I hate feeling not normal or sick. Granted, I don't like feeling out of control either.

I'm already getting bored again. Plus, I hate not being able to sleep. Now, I'm going on meds and taking sleep medication. Blah. I had to pay $80 for one month's supply of medicine here.

I'm not saving money. I'm just buying other things to entertain myself--especially make up and face stuff.

And really, what is the long term benefit here? Not suffering from debilitating depression or adverse reactions to low impulsive control is wonderful--but this isn't going to solve everything.

Like back home, few are like me. So what, I quit being a binge drinker and stay in most nights and I suddenly get a bunch of smart, artistic friends and an amazing, gorgeous boyfriend and complete satisfaction with my life? Doubtful.

For the record, I have a million hobbies, a bunch of friends, work to do, and enjoy my alone time--but I'm still feeling the insatiable boredom coming on. I've reached out for people like me in my community. It hasn't worked and I've tried. Believe me.

I'm being sardonic because I'm helpless.

What to do?

Do you have a therapist? If not then you should try to see one. If you are on meds it sounds like you need a change in the drugs or the dosage.

Therapy isn't an option with my insurance. I'm not in the US
Plus, I think I've gotten all I can get from therapy. I was in it for 4 years. This boredom was my primary concern for two years.