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#1
Mar 02, 2015, 05:02 PM
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I haven't been on here in about a year.
I'm diagnosed with BPD and BP2. I've been doing really well, which is why I wasn't here I guess. But the past week has been a steady decline. I'm not on meds or in therapy, as I lost my insurance a while back. I was previously on antidepressants, and in DBT one on one and group. Today I feel like everything is wrong. The worst part is that I'm aware of my thoughts, I know the fancy names for "idealization and devaluation", I know that I'm depressed, but I likely will be on top of the world before long. My moods are out of control. I cry at the drop of a hat. I love my fiance, and hate him within minutes. It's all my fault, and I'm completely innocent at the same time. I'm angry. I'm sad. I feel like everyone at work is talking about me. That everyone is lying to me. I'm terrified that my fiance is going to leave him, yet I know I'm pushing him. And I know this is part of my disease. But I hate it all the same. Knowing why doesn't make it hurt less. I don't have a question really. I just don't know where else to go.
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FacingDemons  "I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell. I know, right now, you can't tell, But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see A different side of me." |
 allme, Anonymous200145, Crazy Hitch, Espresso, ThunderGoddess
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 Crazy Hitch
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#2
Mar 02, 2015, 05:58 PM
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welcome back,sorry that you are having to go through this (((hugs)))
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The world is not blind it does not want to see !!!  dx severe Depression Gad Social phobic Borderline pd part time insomniac |! 
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| Crazy Hitch
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| Crazy Hitch
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#3
Mar 02, 2015, 06:49 PM
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I feel where you are coming from I used to be on meds until the state took my insurance away it's hard to go through that change it is definitely a gradual decline but you came back to a good place I find this forum helps just be feel understood which in the midst of all the craziness can be quite a relief. I have the same diagnosis as you if you ever want to talk or vent feel free to message me
 
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 Just keep swimming I have BPD or Autism or both, we may never know, the focus is always the symptoms, not the diagnosis  |
| Crazy Hitch
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| Crazy Hitch
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#4
Mar 03, 2015, 07:41 PM
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Quote:
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| Crazy Hitch
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| Crazy Hitch
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#5
Mar 04, 2015, 04:23 AM
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Hi facingdemons,
I am glad you are back, although I am sorry for the circumstances under which you return. Look after yourself and keep us up to date please. Take care. |
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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