[BPDButterfly]

Hi Everyone,

I've had BPD for years now (since childhood I believe) but was actually diagnosed with it about 5 years ago. I'm in my late 30s now.
Basically I go in and out of therapy, tried a couple modules of DBT skills classes, tried several medications that never work, and just always seem to have a hard time with intense emotions and functioning. I also have love addiction issues.

Now, on top of all this, I had a break-up with my boyfriend one month ago (we were together for almost 3 years). The relationship was getting too crazy and stressful, so I finally broke it off, thinking I would be strong enough to endure what was coming.

I was okay for the first week or two, but then just started going into extreme "withdrawal" pains that keep getting worse and worse. I want to go back to him (we haven't been in contact for a month) and can't stand that I lost him. I hate these scary abandonment feelings that overwhelm me, and the feeling that I can't live without someone, even if the relationship is unhealthy.

I just feel so alone and heartbroken and am really having a hard time with this, so I thought I'd reach out for some words of wisdom from those of you who have BPD and would understand what I'm going through, since most
"regular" people can't comprehend the depth of our emotions and pain. I feel like I'm drowning in pain with no relief

Thank you so much

[CANDC]

Hello! Welcome to Psych Central (PC). Sorry to hear you are suffering from a relationship break up. That can be so painful. Have you talked to a psychiatrist about adjusting meds to deal with the more intense feelings after the breakup? If you do not have one, now might be a good time to investigate. Many people at PC take meds to get to a stable place where they can start enjoying life again. Some find friends at Psych Central that help them feel accepted and understood.

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[sideblinded]

BPDButterfly, Hello and welcome to PC.

I am so sorry about your breakup and other issues. We are a very supportive community of people. You won't be alone here.

If there is anything that we can do for you to help you get around this site just let a community liaison or moderator know and we will try to help you.

Best wishes on PC.

[Crazy Hitch]

Hi BPDButterfly

Thank you for introducing yourself to us.

I am glad that you are here.

Although I am sorry to hear that you are currently experiencing difficulties in your relationship.

Well, from a personal point of view I wouldn't say give up entirely on therapy just yet. Hang in there. I mean I get that you've had some therapy that hasn't exactly helped but I guess we go through phases and at times our emotional forces of BPD can be more dominant than at other times. You may just still be able to benefit from this.

The reality is relatonships for us can be somewhat turmoulous but certainly not to say they are unmanagable - far from it - but we probably do need a bit of support in navigating relationships.

I can understand the "withdrawl" - for sure! We need "companionship" - a basic sense of belonging and acceptance; its a fundamental human need; throw BPD tendencies in the mix and sure that's bound to feel emotionally turmoulous of course.

But I'm glad you're here.

You may also benefit from bloggin in the Relationship and Communication Forum:

Relationships & Communication - Forums at Psych Central

Take care and please keep us up to date.