Why continue?

AzulOscuro · Apr 14, 2015, 03:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dancinglady

I have been told that the mentally ill do not go to "h**l when they commit suicide because it is the illness that makes them do this. God does not punish people because they have an illness and they commit a sin.

My day has sucked so I have had to battle negative thinking and feeling all AM. It sucks to have to do "normal people" things when I am not on the same playing field and then get punished when I fall due to my illness. I have found no one has any compassion or sympathy for people with mental illness and that has not changed in 40 years. The stigma I witnessed as a mental health professional 40 years ago is alive and well today in 2015. Where are the people protecting us - laying down on the job mainly.

I don't know what to tell you but your post made me felt like telling something. Some hope, perhaps.
People in general, are afraid of the unknown and you know it, mental illness is unknown for many people. Many times, they find impossible to separate the person and this person's behaviours and judge the whole.
I also do it, but then I reflected and noticed my error. Many people don't give this second step.

I'm on my 40s as you, and I always had mental issues. One thing I learnt is that you cannot depend on outside help other than your therapist and the less you talk with people about your issues, the better. And if you have enough confidence with a person, enjoy it but try to tell the less as possible about your issues. People don't want complications in their lives. Life sometimes sucks for everyone.

Are you in therapy now, dancinglady?

AzulOscuro · Apr 14, 2015, 03:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cryingontheinside

Hi.

It sounds like you are at rock bottom. If your family have any sense they will not be mad at you for being quiet or not saying bad.
I know its very hard speaking to help lines. Or eben knowing what to say or how yo say it. Samaritans have a number you can text noe instead of phoning which is a little less overwhelming . I don't find them that helpful to be honest myself.
I've been down and depressed for s long time too and don't like to be around people . you seem yo be in s darker place than me even but somewhere I have been before and I hated the world and everyone and I was angry that I had ever been bored. It seems like that feeling of despair will last for ever but actually it doesn't . its not suprising that anyone wishes they weren't alive when you're in such emotional turmoil.
The fact that you are here means at least s small part if you hopes things can improve and they will..
Do you take medication?
We are here for you and I am so sorry that you feel this Bad. Please keep talking to us and we will be here for you.

big hugs ,

( Sophie )

I also hope HD goes on here with us.

HD7970GHZ · Apr 18, 2015, 02:44 PM

Thank you for the replies everyone. A lot to think about.

I find it very insightful being in this much pain and posting about it on forums... Sometimes I second guess whether someone is telling the truth about their bad experiences - or if sometimes it is sugar coated and meant to draw attention... I can honestly say that I will never second guess another post, especially when it is about suicide and related topics.

If I can be this low, so can others.

My psychiatrist told me the other day that I am indeed at rock bottom, and the good news is things can only get better... For some strange reason this did not comfort me in the least... In fact - it only justifies my desire to end this suffering even more.

I really don't know why I am continuing. My mental health records are full of lies and deceipt from a therapist I loved and trusted. She abandoned me against everything that DBT teaches. It makes me sick. I am ruined and I don't think I could ever trust another therapist again. I really am a victim to public health care and mental health care abuse.

If I don't make it, just know I really do like you all. And this battle CAN be fought and won. My advice: set boundaries with mental health professionals.

technigal · Apr 18, 2015, 09:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HD7970GHZ

If I don't make it, just know I really do like you all. And this battle CAN be fought and won. My advice: set boundaries with mental health professionals.

The battle can be fought and won, borderlines are not doomed to a life of misery. As you know I have been where you are, rock bottom, it is a slow climb at first but eventually you see daylight again and have hope.

my friend.

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