[dancinglady]

I went to a church dinner tonight. I tried to talk to people while we waited. I was third in the line and so I sat down at a table. I have been at this function for four months every Thursday evening. Everyone walked around me and sat at all the different tables so I sat there by myself. I ate and left. I will never fit in with anyone I am so hurt and devastated.

dancing lady I can relate.

I bet with time and a different approach, you'll fit in with any crowd you want. Did you sit near a corner or near an exit or even near the restrooms? I read just a few days ago that a guy didn't approach a woman that he found very attractive because she had a guarded body posture - she was facing the wall and she appeared to be unapproachable. Some people don't want to sit near doors because it's warmer near the doors (as the cool A/C air escapes) - I don't like to sit near restrooms because it, kind of grosses me out.
I KNOW I purposely place myself in "unapproachable" poses when out in restaurants - defeating the purpose of actually getting someone to notice me?????

I think you had a great attitude to start - you talked to people as you waited in line - I know how hard that is for me too, so congratulations for putting yourself out there. Sometimes people just aren't receptive.

I wondered recently why I always seemed to attract friends I ended up finding incompatible - I've always let them choose me. I told myself this year, that when I start going out, as hard as I know it's going to be, I am NOT going to let someone chose me - I'm going to try and pick them instead because that puts me in control.

Maybe next week, wait a little bit and get in line a little later, scope the place a bit and chose a table/people that you think you might have a good conversation with.

I don't mean to put anyone down from your church function, but I am also prone to think.....SOMEONE could have noticed you eating alone and COULD have invited you over to their table.....it's a church dinner, where's the compassion?

If you can, and maybe you're up to the challenge, YOU pick someone to chat to next week - you recognize your effort and facing anxious feelings - recognize your accomplishments! THAT'S what matters. YOU matter.

You will fit in...you just have to find the right people to fit in with. Don't let them make you think you don't fit in.

sorry you are feeling this way i wish i could be of more help but i just wanted to say sorry and i can relate is some ways but good job and keep trying maybe you just need to find the right people.

[dancinglady]

I am giving up. I am no longer trying. I am done. Once an outcast always an outcast.

[Crazy Hitch]

(((dancinglady)))

What a shame.

That these people are that bad with their manners, empathy, compassion and social skills that you are now the one left thinking that you were somehow to blame.

That's pretty despicable of them.

Originally Posted by dancinglady

I went to a church dinner tonight. I tried to talk to people while we waited. I was third in the line and so I sat down at a table. I have been at this function for four months every Thursday evening. Everyone walked around me and sat at all the different tables so I sat there by myself. I ate and left. I will never fit in with anyone I am so hurt and devastated.

I'm so sorry, dancinglady. That is so cruel.

What can I say to make you feel better ? I wish I knew. But this world is full of people like that.

dont give up maybe you need to find better people.

[BlueWhisky]

I only have one friend left. And he's only my friend because he wants to be my boyfriend. I so hear you on this one. Hurts like hell. x I keep thinking one day I'll find my "tribe".

[dancinglady]

Don't waste your time. There is no tribe out here for us.

[moodycow]

one true good friend is better than lots of shallow /fake ones