[starryprince]

Hello all. I don't know if I'm posting this in the right place but I have nowhere to turn to and this is affecting my depression greatly.

So my ex-girlfriend has BPD, depression, social anxiety, bulimia, severe drug addictions, and she's an alcoholic. She is a very nice person but she has no goals and I have caught her lying to me multiple times. She also kept pushing me away and pulling me back. We only got together because I told her that she couldn't treat me like that. She apologized and we decided to be together.

Back in October 2014 my ex girlfriend broke up with me. She said she was going to rehab but I suspected she lied. I was devastated but I supported her. Lo and behold, I found out 2 days later that she backed out of going to rehab when she drunk texted me. We didn't talk until she hit me up once in December and then in the middle of last month. She told me that the real reason she broke up with me was because she "got scared when my other side started to show and I ran". However she turned on me and said that I basically abandoned her the minute she messed up. Then she said she missed me and still had feelings for me. I never responded to her but before she sent me that last message I told her I wish her the best and I'm sorry if I ever caused her any pain.

That's a REALLY short summary. I have been thinking about her so much lately because I truly feel like I did abandon her. She needs someone because she's severed all of her important relationships. I know she's suffering...but I know I can't help someone who refuses to help themselves. I miss her and I feel horrible because I want to help her but she refuses to do anything. She makes so many excuses. I want to contact her but she's been pulling me back and I've been pulling away and I feel like it'd mess her up even more if I checked up on her. I feel like I should keep my distance.

Our relationship was quite short but we were friends for a while and our relationship was basically her pushing me away and pulling me back constantly.

My question is: can I believe that what she said is true? Should I believe that she still cares about me or is she just afraid of being abandoned? I just miss her and want the best for her because I truly believe she's a great person who's so intelligent and open-minded. She just doesn't want to help herself.

[healingme4me]

Does your history display a pattern of reasons why her word is trustworthy? If not, there's your answer..

[AzulOscuro]

I'm sorry you and your ex are dealing with this.
You said it. One can't help someone who is not ready to help oneself.
And, you have to care of yourself too. This woman bc of her issues, is making you feel guilty and making you question yourself. Am I right?