[genocya]

Since my childhood (4 years to start) i've always felt the sensations of ''falling in love'' with someone (even a cartoon character) EVERY YEAR, it was like i couldn't even fight against, i've fall in love many times in my life (i'm 18).
So...i'm starting to like a guy i've met on friday, last week... and i just think of him, i just want to know about him, i just want him by my side. And that's i mean: talk to him, sexual contact, be friends with him. But i don't want to date him, but this is not because i'm already dating, but it's because i'm a bit ''scared' or even better: insecure about dating someone again.
Since 16 years i discovered i was obsessed about falling in love, the sensations of the feeling, of the passion. It's my drug. Or one of my drugs. It's horrible because i suffer, but i need that. I need that feeling. It's good, but at the same time i suffer. So sometimes i feel really confused: I like the person, yes. I feel attracted to the person yes. But i'm scared if it's only because of the sensation.
I hate having feelings, i really hate that. It's always intense, so masochist and sadistic at the same time... i suffer so much and a rollercoaster of feelings, everytime.

And many times when i discovered something ''bad'' or ''oh this person thinks this way...ugh'' or something i get a bit disappointed i start to...seeing this person more of a illusion, erasing these things of them. A mechanism of my mind to not losing interest and to not lose the sensation of passion.

[Trippin2.0]

Alot of our suffering stems from our thought processes, many of which are distorted. If we can learn to rewire our thoughts, by changing our perceptions, we can eventually learn to decrease our emotional anguish.


So with that being said, maybe, just maybe, if you give it a lighter, more accurate and hopefully more manageable label, it wouldn't be such a heavy burden for you to bare.


IMHO, you seem to get infatuated easily, and for many people, especially in the age group you described, that's their normal.


You may probably be experiencing this infatuation on a much grander scale though, which is what makes it so understandably hard to deal with.


Idk, if it were me, my thought process or the one I would adopt at least, would be:


It's only infatuation, its not actually love, so what's the big deal, its not as serious as it feels...


Or something along those lines to help keep me grounded.


I can't really comment on the pain factor because I don't have a very clear picture, so if I may ask, what exactly is causing you to suffer regarding these situations you describe?

[knivesout]

Have you looked into Love Addiction?