I'm having issues with my SO. We've been together 5 years and have a 2.5 year old. He has a book on dealing with Borderline and I've talked about my over reactions, etc. He says that I will always find a reason to be mad at him. He's super stressed at work and works long hours. I've suggested he go talk to someone but he won't.

I'm nothing like I was when we met. I was skinny, outgoing, ran and lifted weights, was in inccredible shape, etc, etc. Well, between the meds, depression and me just not giving a F***, I've gained a lot of weight. I hate being around other people, I have intense reactions to little things, etc.

So, I don't know what to do. I don't know if he's at his breaking point. When I had the "incident" a week or two ago and he ccame home from work and we talked I broughgt that up and he said don't worry about what I"m thinking, worry about you.

I've been off work since Dec. My EI runs out June 20. I don't know if I'm ready to go back to work, but I have a lot of pressue to.

Sorry so long. WWYD? Any ideas? I'm at a loss.

[Kimaya]

Hi there ma'am.

Sorry to hear about your struggles, I can definitely relate to them, as many here can I'm sure.

It sounds like you guys are working through your problems, of course they are stressful. That's my interpretation based on what your SO says... Your identity and self-esteem are suffering majorly and probably make you vulnerable to the major relationship dysfunctions of our disorder.

That being said you have a big challenge coming up with returning to work. Getting back in the saddle is tough. Couple of Q's:
- Do you have a job to return to?
- How frequent are your therapy sessions?
- What meds are you taking?
- What do you do now as far as real life duties?

Keep your faith up, this is a chaotic road but it is navigable.

When I asked him what the book said to do when I'm over reacting to something he said "kick you in the teeth". So I don't know what we're working through right now.

My meds are in my siggy.
I'm barely keeping up with housework now and 2.5 yo is in daycare half time. I do have a job to go back to but I didn't like it. I've been applying for everything I'm qualified to do, but nothing.
I don't have a therapist right now. I requested a new one. (that's a whole nother story). They are working it out apparently.
I also have bipolar 2, anxiety, OCD.
I'm in a pretty bad depression right now. I'm working on it, but it takes time.
I can't not go back to work right away though. We NEED the money.

I'm lost.

I feel like SO would be better off with out me.

Originally Posted by Kimaya

Hi there ma'am.

Sorry to hear about your struggles, I can definitely relate to them, as many here can I'm sure.

It sounds like you guys are working through your problems, of course they are stressful. That's my interpretation based on what your SO says... Your identity and self-esteem are suffering majorly and probably make you vulnerable to the major relationship dysfunctions of our disorder.

That being said you have a big challenge coming up with returning to work. Getting back in the saddle is tough. Couple of Q's:
- Do you have a job to return to?
- How frequent are your therapy sessions?
- What meds are you taking?
- What do you do now as far as real life duties?

Keep your faith up, this is a chaotic road but it is navigable.

Any other ideas?

[Crazy Hitch]

I'm sorry to hear that times are so difficult for you at the moment momof2boys.

I think that as people, we do change, we evolve, we live we learn ....

So I'm not suprised that some aspects about yourself, as you have described them in the second paragraph, have changed since you first met him. Okay, I know that you have alikened those aspects in which you have changed, as rather negative. However, I really do believe that there are some positive changes that you would have made, regardless of the fact that you may not see them for yourself right now.

Sorry to hear that you've got the stressors of work.

Therapy does help - so hang in there until that one is sorted for you.

Also, merely posting on this forum does help too, just to "get it written down" so it's not all in your head.

Some advice you may not from time to time find that it suits your personal situation, but as always, you are free to decide what best suits you as you are the one who lives your life, so sometimes I may not even get it right when replying to you.

I do understand that money is a factor.

And that can be a huge stressor.

Meds will play a role, to some degree with depression.

In the interum, it's also important that you put a few life strategies in place that you can work on every day.

Even if you choose just one, per day.

What is a small thing, that you would do for yourself, if you were "stable"?

Take a bath?
Read a book?
Watch tv?
Watch your favourite film?
Go for a walk?

Let us know how this all works out.