[kiwipie]

Hi, I have been struggling with this for awhile now, and wanted to know if there was anyone out there who could relate, or if this is a common BPD problem.

My gender identity seems to shift with my fast changing moods. Normally, when I am feeling more stable, I take on a more feminine self (I am a woman). I am interested in wearing dresses and heels for a short period of time, but this never lasts long. Most of the time, I feel as if I should be a man, and when I am feeling particularly reckless I often feel very strongly that I am indeed, a man. But I also can feel somewhat stable and like a man. The shifts confuse me, because while I often wish to change my gender, sometimes I pull a 360 and feel like a total woman again. However, if given the choice to be a real man, I always would say yes, because most of the time I do want it.

So anyone have similar issues? Is this a common borderline problem?

Thanks all!

[CANDC]

Hi kiwipie. I am sorry you are struggling with gender identity issues and BPD. There are many links at Psych Central that discuss this common symptom of BPD in terms of gender identity.
Psych Central - Search results for Bpd and gender identity issues

[falsememory7]

Hi kiwipie - unfortunately I'm new with my diagnosis of BPD, so I'm not sure if this is a common issue. However, in general terms, I get what how you feel. My ex was a trans man, and before he finished his transformation, he often had periods like you have. However, I think that yours probably is related to BPD, because of how strong our emotional flows can get. I'm sorry I haven't been much help, but I'm always here to talk if you ever want

[Crazy Hitch]

I don't think you'd be alone on this.

I'm not sure what the stats are / if any that would correlate this to BPD.

I'm just unsure.

But y intent of replying is just to say we are all so different and unique.

I say embrace your uniqueness (unless you are seeking to make a change for yourself, which should be for yourself only, not because you think anybody else wants you to change).

[Kimaya]

This is something I wonder about too. I also am somewhat feminine and also tomboyish flipping about. I work in a male dominated industry, girls scare me, and yet I go to the makeup counter with joy. My BPD parent is also transgender... Up to secretly cross dressing.

I always played male roles in games as a child, was the oldest if three, and inherited my dad's personality geneset.

Really would love to see some articles on this... Or research, but I doubt there's a real need for it. Worst thing for me is I feel like I don't fit into either gender group... Displaced and no one to belong to... Otherwise I love this part of myself, its interesting to be able to see it clearly for what it is.

I'd defo be a man lol. Switch! I often dream as one.

For what its worth you have a piece of your identity.... Transgender.

[kiwipie]

Thanks for the replies...they made me feel strangely at peace with myself.

Yes, I agree. I am happy to know that it is a part of my identity, and I think I'm just going to go with the flow on this one. I feel no need to rush. And just like you Kimaya, I do love this part of myself.

[Crazy Hitch]

I agree kiwipie.

Do what makes you happy.

And if for now that means that you go with the flow, please continue to do so.