[CopperStar]

The "Hot N Cold" song by Katy Perry.

When I first heard this song with the music video (the music video had a male actor as the significant other to which the song was addressed) I had a few thoughts.

First, it really sounds like it's about BPD.

Second, based on the music video, it seems to be a song about a guy with BPD, which I thought was amazing because it seems like (A) BPD is stereotyped heavily as being practically a female-only disorder, and (B) men with BPD seem to be horrendously under-recognized and thus probably don't receive help that they need.

Third, her attitude in the song is very cocky and critical, which frankly makes me think of NPD, and supposedly people with NPD and people with BPD are often attracted to each other romantically.

So do you think this is a song about an NPD woman and a BPD man, written from the perspective of the NPD woman?

[Nicky123]

It could be written about her ex husband....who has been diagnosed with Bipolar...he may have possibly had some traits of BPD, he did end their marriage by 'text'!!!! I do think there are a lot more men with BPD who go under the radar.

It came out in 2008, a few years before she met Russell Brand.

I don't think it's about someone with BPD. I really just sounds like a guy who can't commit. I was 30 when it came out but I remember thinking "Wow, this sounds like a lot of the guys I used to date in my mid-twenties." It's a pretty lighthearted song as are most of her songs (even some of the heavier ones aren't terribly deep). I doubt it delves too far into the human psyche.

The awesome thing about music though is you can interpret it however you want. The reason I love music (and why I loved being a musician) is because it's all about what it means both to the artist and to the listener, and they can be different meanings.

[CopperStar]

Originally Posted by misskeena

It came out in 2008, a few years before she met Russell Brand.

I don't think it's about someone with BPD. I really just sounds like a guy who can't commit. I was 30 when it came out but I remember thinking "Wow, this sounds like a lot of the guys I used to date in my mid-twenties." It's a pretty lighthearted song as are most of her songs (even some of the heavier ones aren't terribly deep). I doubt it delves too far into the human psyche.

The awesome thing about music though is you can interpret it however you want. The reason I love music (and why I loved being a musician) is because it's all about what it means both to the artist and to the listener, and they can be different meanings.

True, definitely open to interpretation. I just noticed how she described that they were perfectly in sync when they started dating, and then she is chewing him out for being boring and indecisive. Again cocky and critical in tone, while she never addresses her own part played in the idealization phase, nor why she is apparently drawn to someone who keeps running hot and cold on her. To me it sounded like a classic NPDxBPD dance, but it was like because of the genders being reversed from the stereotype, I didn't see anyone else drawing similar conclusion. Gave me a hrrmmmm moment.

[CopperStar]

Originally Posted by Nicky123

It could be written about her ex husband....who has been diagnosed with Bipolar...he may have possibly had some traits of BPD, he did end their marriage by 'text'!!!! I do think there are a lot more men with BPD who go under the radar.

Oh I didn't know that, my tastes are a bit different but I heard this song on the radio years ago, I don't know much about the artist. I am BP type 1 w/ psychotic features, but in my late teens to early twenties I believe I would have met the full criteria for BPD, as well, but was never diagnosed. Now I don't even date anymore and am a lot more avoidant in nature, so I'm not even sure whether or not that has changed.

[Nicky123]

Sorry, I didn't know the song was so long out. It was just the Katy Perry that made me think Russell Brand.

[CopperStar]

Originally Posted by Nicky123

Sorry, I didn't know the song was so long out. It was just the Katy Perry that made me think Russell Brand.

Oh no worries at all, I was just musing. It does seem like it can be a bit difficult to distinguish BP1 and BPD sometimes, the symptoms can be so similar. So I thought it was interesting that the ex had a BP diagnosis. I am probably a comorbid cluster**** of issues myself so I just find it interesting to speculate.

Originally Posted by Nicky123

Sorry, I didn't know the song was so long out. It was just the Katy Perry that made me think Russell Brand.

Nbd. I don't really follow her, I only remember that I was listening to that song when I was hanging out with a certain group of people...and that was way back then.

[Crazy Hitch]

I've thought this too .... but I've actually alikened it more to my Bipolar, personally ....

"You're hot then you're cold ....
You're yes then you're no ....
You're in then you're out ....

..... Got a case of bad Bipolar"

To me, personally, it is a song about my mania and depression and how I swing between the two poles of this diagnosis.

[CopperStar]

Originally Posted by Hooligan

I've thought this too .... but I've actually alikened it more to my Bipolar, personally ....

"You're hot then you're cold ....
You're yes then you're no ....
You're in then you're out ....

..... Got a case of bad Bipolar"

To me, personally, it is a song about my mania and depression and how I swing between the two poles of this diagnosis.

I wonder if he was a rapid cycler? I get mostly just long hauls of dysphoric mania, but I have read about the sort of rapid cycling where a person can go back and forth between pure mania and pure depression within a matter of days or even hours. I wonder if this is the sort of bipolar manifestation that can get easily confused with BPD?

I have been confused as hell about it from the first time I became self-aware that I have issues. I would identify with almost everything I read about BPD, except for feeling empty and having no sense of self. That was the only thing I couldn't relate to, because I often feel I am too full, as opposed to empty. Too much noise and chaos, constant overload. But aside from that I hit everything on the BPD checklist.