[misfit77]

Hi everyone,
Some of you may know that I am currently going off my SSRI (Zoloft). It all started out well, but now it's just been a nightmare. I saw my Psychiatrist and after telling him I broke some dishes (by throwing them against the wall) he said to stay on 25mg (I was on 100mg) for now...I guess that wasn't a good thing (I think it's kind of funny actually).

I am sick of my mood. I am trying all the DBT things but it's been so bloody hard. It feels like a depression relapse even though I know it's too early. I have vacation coming up in a couple of weeks and I can't wait. I am drowning in stupid paper work at work and I feel like crap physically. I just want to feel calm. Not so bloody angry all the time. I want to get a good night's sleep and not be bloody tired all the time. I am sick of every little thing pissing me off so much. I just want to know when my stupid brain will adjust to the medication being lower. Or if it ever will.

Even as I write all this stuff my rational brain pops in and says "it is what it is" and stuff like that. I get pissed off because I freeze my *** off in my office at work because they crank the air conditioning so bloody high (and refuse to put a fan on...oh no they can't use a fan they have to have the office at 17c) and all I want to do is be outside in the summer heat...but then that rational little part of me says "stop it...you have to work-you can't be outside in the sun so don't whine about...life isn't always doing what you want".

Writing this is helping me to calm down. I just want to go home right now though. I don't want to have to talk to people and listen to their problems and try to find solutions for them. This is when I wish I had chosen a different career path-not one where I have to help people. At least I have my own office and write this without someone seeing (and I work lots of overtime so technically I am not wasting the tax payers money right now by writing this instead of working) ( I work for a government funded program). See I can still see the stupid bright side of things. Argh.

[Living Dead Guy]

I hate to say it but it does sound as if the DBT is paying off if your are interrupting your negative thoughts even when you don't want to. Even though you feel like crap it seems like your on the road to recovery I just hope you feel better about it soon.

[misfit77]

Thanks Living Dead Guy (cool name-I was listening to "Living Dead Girl" on the way home from work).

I had bad "brain zaps" today-so I know for sure I'm in withdrawal. It's such hell. I'm so sick of being angry. I feel constantly on edge. My psychiatrist told me to put on some sad ,usic and just let myself actually cry -I tend to get angry instead of sad. I've been doing my breathing exercises etc. I know it will pass (though part of me worries it won't). It's just so terrible. I wish my body and brain would just hurry up and adjust.

Anyway thanks for replying
Misfit (I took my name from from the Misfits)

[JanLeiden]

Yeah, you sound like you know what to do but are just having a hard time doing it. Welcome to my world!

I really don't know what to tell you, keep it up. It's hard but it'll get easier, it actually has to. Your brain is going to create new pathways and this new way of thinking is only going to run deeper, if you keep it up.

Don't get too scared, i am sure you aren't going to be a zen master anytime soon.

17 degrees? I would kill for that.


How long have you been weening off? I went off zoloft in a hurry, i freaked out thinking i was having some rare reaction to it and cut my dosage off so bloody fast. I went from 200mg to 0 in 10 days i think? I don't know. I had zero problems too. I didn't feel like it was helping much anyways, other than the fact i had more energy. It took me no time to adjust. I guess i am just special.

I did however have nightmarish times getting off T3's. Those tylenols with codeine. I didn't even abuse them or anything, just regular dosage but i guess i am a rare type that metabolizes morphine too well or not well however you look at it. I was freezing and sweating at the same time, it still boggles my mind how a person can be hot and cold at the sametime.

anyway

keep up the good work and you won't be such a misfit