[BoulderOnMyShoulder]

I thought I just had severe anxiety, but after an incident in which I acted disproportionately emotional, (see my post history for the story if you want) yesterday my psychologist diagnosed me as having mild to moderate BPD. It seemed to come out of nowhere because he never mentioned it before and I've been working with him over 4 years but he said it's not an easy diagnosis and took time to figure out and the recent episode was the deciding factor.

Anyway I guess i'm just wondering how overwhelmed anyone felt when they were first diagnosed. my therapist told me that I'm going to have a lot of problems with making intimate relationships (all relationships not just romantic, I've had very few close relationships in my life due to a lot of isolation from anxiety) and I'm going to have a lot of problems in the workplace, and I need to start going to DBT. He was brutally honest and kind of has made me even more anxious, I'm afraid of even trying to do anything because of how likely he says it is that I'm going to end up having problems. I've read a lot of people feel relieved by a diagnosis because things make sense, but has anyone just been shocked and sad? I know I've had issues but I didn't know they were so severe and I'm anxious about how treatment for this is going to be.

[ScarletPimpernel]

You're still the same person as you were before you were diagnosed. Nothing has changed except you have a new label for your symptoms.

You probably will struggle with relationships. You might struggle in the workplace. But you can have healthy relationships and you can hold down a job. It might take a lot of work.

I'm in a DBT process group and my T does a little DBT too. Learning the skills is easy. Implementing them can be difficult. That's why most people do refresher courses of DBT. It reminds them to use their skills.

[dancinglady]

Originally Posted by BoulderOnMyShoulder

I thought I just had severe anxiety, but after an incident in which I acted disproportionately emotional, (see my post history for the story if you want) yesterday my psychologist diagnosed me as having mild to moderate BPD. It seemed to come out of nowhere because he never mentioned it before and I've been working with him over 4 years but he said it's not an easy diagnosis and took time to figure out and the recent episode was the deciding factor.

Anyway I guess i'm just wondering how overwhelmed anyone felt when they were first diagnosed. my therapist told me that I'm going to have a lot of problems with making intimate relationships (all relationships not just romantic, I've had very few close relationships in my life due to a lot of isolation from anxiety) and I'm going to have a lot of problems in the workplace, and I need to start going to DBT. He was brutally honest and kind of has made me even more anxious, I'm afraid of even trying to do anything because of how likely he says it is that I'm going to end up having problems. I've read a lot of people feel relieved by a diagnosis because things make sense, but has anyone just been shocked and sad? I know I've had issues but I didn't know they were so severe and I'm anxious about how treatment for this is going to be.

Don't walk RUN to DBT. Not to scare you even more READ my long history with BPD. Work hard don't stop. He is correct with what it is like to have BPD. Good luck. I ended up a failure and a loser. You are young you have a chance. Don't wait cuz it could end up too late. DBT was not available to me until 2 years ago. I am 65 my life has been ruined.

[technigal]

I found what helped me deal with the diagnosis was finding out as much as I could about BPD. I read a ton of books, chatted with people on here, talked with my therapist, and eventually took DBT.

[WibblyWobbly]

I felt overwhelmed at first because of the stigma attached to BPD, but the more and more I learned about the disorder, the more things started to make sense. I feel like now that I am diagnosed I can build my self-awareness and avoid unhealthy behaviors. It stings in the beginning, but it's important to have the right diagnosis so you can get the proper treatment.

[Suzian]

Originally Posted by BoulderOnMyShoulder

I thought I just had severe anxiety, but after an incident in which I acted disproportionately emotional, (see my post history for the story if you want) yesterday my psychologist diagnosed me as having mild to moderate BPD. It seemed to come out of nowhere because he never mentioned it before and I've been working with him over 4 years but he said it's not an easy diagnosis and took time to figure out and the recent episode was the deciding factor.

Anyway I guess i'm just wondering how overwhelmed anyone felt when they were first diagnosed. my therapist told me that I'm going to have a lot of problems with making intimate relationships (all relationships not just romantic, I've had very few close relationships in my life due to a lot of isolation from anxiety) and I'm going to have a lot of problems in the workplace, and I need to start going to DBT. He was brutally honest and kind of has made me even more anxious, I'm afraid of even trying to do anything because of how likely he says it is that I'm going to end up having problems. I've read a lot of people feel relieved by a diagnosis because things make sense, but has anyone just been shocked and sad? I know I've had issues but I didn't know they were so severe and I'm anxious about how treatment for this is going to be.

Well I might suggest trying to not be all that worried about it. He / she is a therapist and does not have a crystal ball. You may have difficulties or problems in relationships, but it doesn't' mean you can't enjoy them. People have love, understanding and compassion. People forgive imperfections, because we all have them. Work on developing skills to help navigate relationships. And if your therapist is too pessimistic, you could always consider trying a new one. It sort of bothers me that it took him four years to tell you this, and then he went on to tell you that you would have so many problems. I was diagnosed with this many years ago and I haven't gotten proper treatment...but somehow I am surviving and living life. It isn't a dealth sentence. It's something you learn to manage and work with...like any flaw or handicap...you adapt, learn, manage and move on. Hang in there....it isn't that bad. People will love and accept you. They will.

[dancinglady]

Originally Posted by Suzian

Well I might suggest trying to not be all that worried about it. He / she is a therapist and does not have a crystal ball. You may have difficulties or problems in relationships, but it doesn't' mean you can't enjoy them. People have love, understanding and compassion. People forgive imperfections, because we all have them. Work on developing skills to help navigate relationships. And if your therapist is too pessimistic, you could always consider trying a new one. It sort of bothers me that it took him four years to tell you this, and then he went on to tell you that you would have so many problems. I was diagnosed with this many years ago and I haven't gotten proper treatment...but somehow I am surviving and living life. It isn't a dealth sentence. It's something you learn to manage and work with...like any flaw or handicap...you adapt, learn, manage and move on. Hang in there....it isn't that bad. People will love and accept you. They will.

I am glad you have had a better time. My life is destroyed. My experience is that if he has worked with you for 4 years and just now told. Go find another therapist. He/she is done and really will not be beneficial at this point. Many therapists do not want to work with us. He/she may have told you to get rid of you as a patient. My experience only.

[sweetnips]

Originally Posted by BoulderOnMyShoulder

I thought I just had severe anxiety, but after an incident in which I acted disproportionately emotional, (see my post history for the story if you want) yesterday my psychologist diagnosed me as having mild to moderate BPD. It seemed to come out of nowhere because he never mentioned it before and I've been working with him over 4 years but he said it's not an easy diagnosis and took time to figure out and the recent episode was the deciding factor.

I was diagnosed yesterday after almost the same thing, had been seeing my therapist for a little while and was originally just diagnosed with attachment disorder and anxiety but then I had about a month of really poor decision making and she came to the conclusion I was bpd.

Once I had read about it and looked at all of the symptoms I was 100% sure she was right and I've been experiencing symptoms for quite a long time. I understand what caused it and I have a much better understanding of the things I've done in my past.

I'm, however, very anxious about it as well because I think there's a lot of stigma around having this disorder because people don't understand it. I don't even understand why I do a lot of the things I do. But it's really relieving to know I'm not just a horrible person who doesn't care about how anyone else feels.

I worry about using this as an excuse. I can be so manipulative. But I want to treat this properly so I can function normally again. So I'm trying to open myself up to actually trying really hard in therapy but at the same time ive been like this as long as I can remember and I don't really want to/know how to live any other way.

[DBTDiva]

I think it's natural to feel scared after a diagnosis for any kind. I agree with ScarletPimpernel, you are the same person now that you have always been. Interpersonal conflict or work conflict isn't going to start suddenly, you've been chalking up your lack of close relationships to your anxiety but it may be more complicated than that. (ie your anxiety is caused by fears of being judged/hurt/abandoned and those fears are a result of BPD.)

I wouldn't be concerned about getting a diagnosis after 4 years with this therapist, I'd be more concerned as to why you are still in therapy after 4 years. Likely this is because DBT would benefit you more than whatever you have been doing with him. BPD is difficult to diagnose, it's true, but unless you've left and come back several times, 4 years is a long time to be going and not improving. I agree with the other posters that DBT would help a lot and getting a therapist experienced in it might be the best way to go. A therapist who is trained in DBT will not have the stigmatized ideas toward BPD that other therapists might. It is absolutely possible to live well in recovery from BPD. There are several memoirs out there of people who are doing great.

Good luck!
DD

[BoulderOnMyShoulder]

Originally Posted by DBTDiva

I think it's natural to feel scared after a diagnosis for any kind. I agree with ScarletPimpernel, you are the same person now that you have always been. Interpersonal conflict or work conflict isn't going to start suddenly, you've been chalking up your lack of close relationships to your anxiety but it may be more complicated than that. (ie your anxiety is caused by fears of being judged/hurt/abandoned and those fears are a result of BPD.)

I wouldn't be concerned about getting a diagnosis after 4 years with this therapist, I'd be more concerned as to why you are still in therapy after 4 years. Likely this is because DBT would benefit you more than whatever you have been doing with him. BPD is difficult to diagnose, it's true, but unless you've left and come back several times, 4 years is a long time to be going and not improving. I agree with the other posters that DBT would help a lot and getting a therapist experienced in it might be the best way to go. A therapist who is trained in DBT will not have the stigmatized ideas toward BPD that other therapists might. It is absolutely possible to live well in recovery from BPD. There are several memoirs out there of people who are doing great.

Good luck!
DD

I don't think 4 years is such a long time to be in therapy, and I have actually improved hugely. I was so anxious I barely functioned, had no friends or job or much of a life at all and absolutely hated myself. I've changed a lot, but the diagnosis came after the incident I posted about in the Psychotherapy forum. I do think DBT would help me more now with actual skills rather than just talking about things like I've been doing with my current therapist, but I definitely benefited from the talk therapy.

[DBTDiva]

Originally Posted by BoulderOnMyShoulder

I don't think 4 years is such a long time to be in therapy, and I have actually improved hugely. I was so anxious I barely functioned, had no friends or job or much of a life at all and absolutely hated myself. I've changed a lot, but the diagnosis came after the incident I posted about in the Psychotherapy forum. I do think DBT would help me more now with actual skills rather than just talking about things like I've been doing with my current therapist, but I definitely benefited from the talk therapy.

I'm sorry, I wasn't meaning to be critical! I have been in therapy on and off for 12 years, myself. I moved a couple times and it took a while to find a therapist that really helped (then she moved) so 4 years with one therapist is I'm sure way more productive than 1-2 years each with 5 different ones.