My Way of Avoiding Abandonment

OK, so...

I'm fairly new to the forum environment.

I've noticed that I've started taking inventory of all the things my Favorite Person leaves behind at my apartment. Like more important things. Like, he's storing a TV at my place until he moves which will be a year from now, a sewing machine, and a expensive printer.

He's my ex- boyfriend and I still have a very strong attachment to him even if it isn't romantic anymore. And of course, I go back and forth between internally ****-talking him and adoring him. Like when he doesn't respond to texts as much as I'd like or when he hangs out with other people. I mean, I know it's not good to do that and I know this when I'm having these thoughts, but I can't help him. But you know, when I do get attention from him, I'm like:

"He's the best! Greatest friend. I am appreciated."

But! Anyway, I always look for things in my apartment to hold on to him. Things that could be considered important or expensive that he wouldn't want to leave behind. And then I get worried because he has a key so he could just come in and get them when I'm at work or something.

I've done this a lot. For a year almost.

But I just wanted to know if anyone else does this kind of thing to avoid abandonment? Or have any kind of attention from their Favorite Person?

Yes, for sure. Last year I almost didn't tell my ex that I found a box of her ceramic art because I wanted to hold onto them forever as a piece of her. It's like...if you can't hold onto them, you'll settle for holding onto their things as representations/extensions of them.

Yep! I've done that before too, but more of a way to make them pay attention to me because I had their things. And I wanted to use those things to lure them back to me?

I understand that. "I have your things...you want them, right?" It's a connection to that person.