loosing control

So last night I got in a state of panic, anger, self loathing, emptiness etc and I impulsively self harmed which included taking what I thought were sleeping pills more than I should have, I was prescribed them by my doctor to help me sleep so assumed they were sleeping pills. Luckily they weren't but when calming down just before I fell asleep I told a friend I was worried I'd take more who panicked after I stopped replying and told my friends who ended up texting my dad who told them it was for allergies and he knew I had them when he had no idea I had them and they were to help me sleep. So now I look like a typical attention seeking angsty teen when that's completely not true. Yes I'm crying for help because I don't want hurting myself or threatening to kill myself to be the only way I know how to handle situations, but I had no idea how much my constant mood swings, episodes of running away, threats of hurting myself and constant outbursts of anger was affecting the people I love despite it being my way of communicating that I love them and testing their commitment kind of towards me and now everyone's turning against me and that was the thing I was trying my hardest to avoid and it's happened before where I tried to please everyone and it's backfired because my lies or actions have become too much and I don't know what to do anymore

I went through and am going through the same thing if you dont get it straightened out youll have a lot of health problems cause usless overdosing is not going to kill you.and no thats not giving you permission to kill yourself. You know given your situation you might have a chance to get into a residential treatment program through your school depending how old are you? They might be able to help you if you're a kid

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See if your parents can get you this workbook:

http://www.amazon.com/Dialectical-Be.../dp/1572245131

DBT is so for BPD. It helps to teach you how to regulate emotions, how to give yourself more 'middle ground' instead of complete extremes of emotions, teaches you (with practice) how to distract your thoughts, including when self harm thoughts come, how to self soothe, how to go to an imaginary "safe place", how to tolerate distress, mindfulness etc. It is amazing and its a work books so you are involved in it.

Also, do you have a therapist? If not, you do need to get into so therapy or even counseling as BPD isnt easily controlled alone. You need to be taught how to control this stuff and some medications can help as well if a therapist deems necessary.

I dont think an inpatient treament center is the answer, I have suicidal thoughts every day and have acted on them many times. I do think that therapy is much needed to help you deal!

I don't know how. To get. A therapist. I have a case manager right now and they won't let me switch to an actual therapist cause they say case management Is technically like having a therapist and the last therapist I had complained to her boss told them I was.trying to switch again and they denied.me a therapist. So now I just have a case manager and its not teaching me skills just talking about my problems.I can definitely get the book though this week

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My reply was for the OP:

But if you dont have a therapist then you should try to get counseling of some sort and the DBT workbook is of great help to most so Im glad I could help both of you!

i do talk to a therapist but theres only so much talking will do as its been 3 years on and off seeing a therapist and things arent improving if anything theyre getting worse

thank you though