[Pastel Kitten]

What is wrong with me? I can't seem to fully accept his love for me. I don't feel like I deserve it. I feel that he's a much better person than I ever will be, and I can't seem to get over my ex which is unfair to him so it makes me feel even less deserving of his love. I keep switching from feeling so completely satisfied with him to wanting to break up and be alone forever...since that idea somehow seems safer despite being a lonely one.

I'm kind of sad realizing that when I first joined PC nearly a year ago I was a lot more positive and motivational. I posted a lot more, I talked to other people a lot more, and in general was not doing quite as badly as I am now. I feel like I've let everyone down...

[TishaBuv]

Originally Posted by Pastel Kitten

What is wrong with me?

I can't seem to fully accept his love for me. I have this issue, too.

I don't feel like I deserve it. I feel that he's a much better person than I ever will be,

and I can't seem to get over my ex I have an issue there, too.

which is unfair to him so it makes me feel even less deserving of his love.

I keep switching from feeling so completely satisfied with him to wanting to break up and be alone forever.. that's BPD black and white thinking

.since that idea somehow seems safer despite being a lonely one.

I'm kind of sad realizing that when I first joined PC nearly a year ago I was a lot more positive and motivational. I posted a lot more, I talked to other people a lot more, and in general was not doing quite as badly as I am now.

I feel like I've let everyone down...

The only one you need to be true to is yourself.

[technigal]

I used to be like this with my husband, even after we married I would beg him to divorce me. Luckily for me he understood that it was my mental health pushing him away. We have been married now for 14.5 years.

[Unrigged64072835]

I did this with my current husband. He is bound to stick by me no matter what. I guess I stopped when I realized he loved me no matter what.