I'm more educated in BPD than my own therapist

Pastel Kitten · Sep 23, 2016, 07:38 PM

I've written about my therapist before, and some of the questionable things she's said, and tried to have a positive outlook on her - but after today's session, that's become really difficult. We were going over some of my emotional regulation worksheets and she was commenting about how great it is that I'm aware of my behavioral patterns and improve. That was great and all until she threw in "You're not like these other people who are too unintelligent to recognize what they're doing and keep doing it.
These...narcissists...or the term you use: borderline. They have no empathy, but you do." Excuse me? I responded with "What does that have to do with BPD? So you think people with BPD lack empathy?" to which she responded with "Some of them, but not you."

And let's not forget about the fact she just called other BPD people unintelligent for not being able to recognize their behavioral patterns and change them. Unintelligent?? No. In need of help? Yes! Jesus, what if I was one of these "narcissistic, non-empathetic, unintelligent" borderlines? What then? Would I suddenly go from her "favorite" to her "dreaded student"? I then pointed out that people with high emotional capacity tend to be more empathetic than most, on contrary, since we experience the full range of human emotion (and then some!) I also questioned if she was confusing NPD with BPD, and that the non-empathetic BPD people she had in mind may have co-morbid NPD (or another disorder) which is the source of their lack of empathy. Not BPD!

When I mentioned these things, she actually got up and pulled the DSM-V off of her shelf and started reading the entire diagnostic criteria for BPD, saying "I know I read about the lack of empathy somewhere." After she read everything in extensive detail (which I already fully knew about...) she said "Well. You may fit all of the criteria for BPD, but at least you're improving." What the hell does that have to do with anything? That wasn't even the reason she pulled out the book! I knew it was cause she couldn't find "lack of empathy" as a symptom of BPD, so I said "You couldn't find it, could you?" She admitted she was incorrect and changed the topic back to my homework. Haha! Why on earth am I more knowledgeable in my own disorder than my therapist? That does not make me feel very comfortable.

At the end of my session when my boyfriend came to pick me up, she said jokingly "I had nothing to beat her up about. She's a good girl. She beat me up a lot though. It was a bit frustrating." (Or a synonym of frustrating cause I don't quite remember.) I knew she wasn't fully joking. But come on! Thank god I'm doing DBT since I do most of the learning at home but I'd still appreciate it if I weren't spoken of as if I'm a "special case" for being empathetic. I told her that all we want is to be accepted and loved, and that it's just hard for us to handle our extreme emotions.

I honestly found it all pretty comical

jeremiahgirl · Sep 23, 2016, 11:05 PM

I'm more educated in BPD than my own therapist

most T's know only the negative about BPD; and frankly I think they are very intimidated when they have a client. That's why some T's when you inquire about an appointment they hesitate or deny the appointment. It's simply they can't deal with the "extremes" of clients with BPD. It's sad but true, often it's a "risk" for their livelihood. They don't realize that the client is in the risk, because of their high stress, anxiety and suicidal tendencies. Most T's just can't handle the ups and downs. So I understand completely your T's lack of knowledge on BPD. I hope the experience has opened the

's of your T you showed her some truths she needed to hear about people with BPD. We actually are "very intelligent" and are very in tune to ourselves (LOL) that's why we are the way we are (at times to absorbed with ourselves).

You did well my friend keep up the great work!

Pastel Kitten · Sep 23, 2016, 11:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jeremiahgirl

most T's know only the negative about BPD; and frankly I think they are very intimidated when they have a client. That's why some T's when you inquire about an appointment they hesitate or deny the appointment. It's simply they can't deal with the "extremes" of clients with BPD. It's sad but true, often it's a "risk" for their livelihood. They don't realize that the client is in the risk, because of their high stress, anxiety and suicidal tendencies. Most T's just can't handle the ups and downs. So I understand completely your T's lack of knowledge on BPD. I hope the experience has opened the

's of your T you showed her some truths she needed to hear about people with BPD. We actually are "very intelligent" and are very in tune to ourselves (LOL) that's why we are the way we are (at times to absorbed with ourselves).

You did well my friend keep up the great work!

Yeah it did open her eyes and she always admits she's wrong but god there has to be some therapist out there who doesn't add to all this stigma...right? There is this woman in my area apparently who specializes in BPD but she's so expensive and I don't have a way of getting on insurance at this moment because of so many complications...this is all just so unprofessional if you ask me. Thank you! I won't ever let her speak badly of us, even if she's speaking about other people and not me directly. I don't appreciate the praise she gives me if it means that I'm such an exception from the "typical" BPD person. Just no! I find so much support from everyone on this forum and I don't feel above anyone.

02:36 AM

I am sorry you cant find another therapist, I would try to keep looking though, I was at a point that I did not know what I was going to do about finding a therapist, But then I found a hospital that lets me pay a small amount every session, I am enrolled in some kind of program because of my income, I am so grateful that I found this, I found a wonderful new therapist, I wish the same would happen for you, Your therapist does not sound like she even knows what she is talking about, And she said you were a rare exception to being empathetic, I guess she hasnt met me yet or all the rest of us, I actually dont like how empathetic and sensitive I am at times because I feel everything and some times I dont want to feel but I do any way, And it hurts to much, Sorry

Pastel Kitten · Sep 24, 2016, 12:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wolfeyes1

I am sorry you cant find another therapist, I would try to keep looking though, I was at a point that I did not know what I was going to do about finding a therapist, But then I found a hospital that lets me pay a small amount every session, I am enrolled in some kind of program because of my income, I am so grateful that I found this, I found a wonderful new therapist, I wish the same would happen for you, Your therapist does not sound like she even knows what she is talking about, And she said you were a rare exception to being empathetic, I guess she hasnt met me yet or all the rest of us, I actually dont like how empathetic and sensitive I am at times because I feel everything and some times I dont want to feel but I do any way, And it hurts to much, Sorry

I mentioned you guys to her! I told her I talk to really supportive people on a BPD forum and they're just as empathetic as me.