[Oscarmax76]

My mom wasn't a very good Mom when I was growing up. She was dealing with a lot of depression and other issues, so of course she wasn't there for me. And when she was there, she was often saying very inappropriate things, which made me feel very uncomfortable and that I could not connect with my mother even though I was desperate to.

So now, its hard for me to let people like me, be they friends or girlfriends. I often assume someone who wants to be my friend soon after I meet them, is Gay. I also very often reject women who show quick interest in me.

Worse of all, I obsessively go after women who clearly reject me, or who give me some attention but who also reject me alot, can't be with me for long periods of time, or who are unjust unhealthy for me.

I have been dating a woman for almost 4 months now. She is very nice to me, cooks for me, spends time with me, loves my cooking. But its very hard for me to deal with someone liking me this way.

What do I do? How do I deal with this? How do I keep myself from rejecting her, and from having tons of anxiety when we hang out?

[Lonlin3zz]

Originally Posted by Oscarmax76

My mom wasn't a very good Mom when I was growing up. She was dealing with a lot of depression and other issues, so of course she wasn't there for me. And when she was there, she was often saying very inappropriate things, which made me feel very uncomfortable and that I could not connect with my mother even though I was desperate to.

So now, its hard for me to let people like me, be they friends or girlfriends. I often assume someone who wants to be my friend soon after I meet them, is Gay. I also very often reject women who show quick interest in me.

Worse of all, I obsessively go after women who clearly reject me, or who give me some attention but who also reject me alot, can't be with me for long periods of time, or who are unjust unhealthy for me.

I have been dating a woman for almost 4 months now. She is very nice to me, cooks for me, spends time with me, loves my cooking. But its very hard for me to deal with someone liking me this way.

What do I do? How do I deal with this? How do I keep myself from rejecting her, and from having tons of anxiety when we hang out?

I think, both of you makes good couple. It's probably your mind is attempting to make you feel that way. And if you end up rejecting her, both of you will end up hurt as well.

Does cuddle/hugs soothes your anxiety? Maybe you might want to think about it. If not, I think you have to communicate these to your partner, she has to know it.

[Yoda]

It might be helpful for you to work with a therapist to work on social skills, self esteem and whatever else is problematic for you.

[Oscarmax76]

Originally Posted by Lonlin3zz

I think, both of you makes good couple. It's probably your mind is attempting to make you feel that way. And if you end up rejecting her, both of you will end up hurt as well.

Does cuddle/hugs soothes your anxiety? Maybe you might want to think about it. If not, I think you have to communicate these to your partner, she has to know it.

Originally Posted by Yoda

It might be helpful for you to work with a therapist to work on social skills, self esteem and whatever else is problematic for you.

I feel like letting her know more details of my past, helps.

I told her that I suffered from depression before, but haven't let her know how bad it was. I told her I am on meds.

But I never told her how my mom affected me and relationships. I dont want to flood her with too much info too quickly.

Yes, I do see a therapist and we are talking about these issues.

My immediate solutions to my immediate anxieties is to exercise, eat right, avoid too much sugar and caffeine, avoid arguing with people about upsetting topics on the internet, which i have a real compulsion to do.

[Fuzzybear]