First off, let me explain that I'm thinking around age 40+. No, I don't think 40 is old. :P

I'm just curious if, for those of you out there who have had BPD for a long time - does it get better with age? And if so, why?

[Angelique67]

Hi, this was one of my diagnoses but I think they couldn't corroborate it because I really don't have it. If I had it, though, it fades with age. I think emotionality is much stronger in younger years, no matter what causes it.

[technigal]

I was diagnosed at 44 but I do agree that it improves with age, depending on the severity of your symptoms. I only have a few traits left after 3 years of treatment and meds

[dancinglady]

Originally Posted by scaredandconfused

First off, let me explain that I'm thinking around age 40+. No, I don't think 40 is old. :P

I'm just curious if, for those of you out there who have had BPD for a long time - does it get better with age? And if so, why?

No you just learn to stay away from people and anything that could trigger me. You look like u improved because I stopped trying and so I don't bother the mental health professionals anymore and stay to myself and away from everybody and everything. This is why they say you get better with age most of us just disappear from society. Just look at all the loners in the seniors lounge. They are many of us.

[jeremiahgirl]

I was dx at 50 and I'm almost 60 now. That's a tricky question, from my research on this dx most in this field believe that it does lessen with age. I've never heard it is "curable" yet, I don't think any mental illness is curable; that's why many are given pills to control their dx.

Personally, I used EMDR to help me with the traumatic events from childhood. BPD is developed due to trauma, and the type treatment used can help one control the symptoms of the BPD. After using the EMDR, I've been able to manage the symptoms (which often arise when I'm stressed). So, I know the markers and go from there. Before the dx I didn't know the markers and often just reacted.

So, in regards to your question, I think one can see less symptoms as they age but this maybe due to maturity and awareness of the markers that arise.
Dealing with BPD takes "work" one must desire to get better and learn how to manage their stressful moments in life. Using DBT has been useful in learning how to change ones behavior and thinking processes.

[Pastel Kitten]

I know it's wrong to diagnose people but I'm 99.9% sure that my mom has BPD because I'm diagnosed with it and we have mirror symptoms (even she herself has acknowledged that). She has made a mess of every relationship in her life with her fear of abandonment and highly unstable emotions. She's 54 and while she has gotten slightly better, she continues to destroy her life unintentionally. She believes her current partner will leave her and she'll spend her life alone. She thinks it's better that way, and maybe it's true that a lot of borderlines who seem to get "better" with age are simply avoiding relationships. I quote her: "When I'm not in relationships, I'm lonely but I can manage. In relationships, my fears of abandonment are immediately triggered."

I don't want to make people lose hope by saying "if you've got BPD then you're destined to a life of loneliness" but this is my personal view on the whole "BPD gets better with age" notion. It's still possible to sustain healthy relationships despite this ****** illness, but it takes a lot of work.

[Unrigged64072835]

I think I've gotten better, but it's because of therapy and meds, and not just age.

[dancinglady]

Originally Posted by Pastel Kitten

I know it's wrong to diagnose people but I'm 99.9% sure that my mom has BPD because I'm diagnosed with it and we have mirror symptoms (even she herself has acknowledged that). She has made a mess of every relationship in her life with her fear of abandonment and highly unstable emotions. She's 54 and while she has gotten slightly better, she continues to destroy her life unintentionally. She believes her current partner will leave her and she'll spend her life alone. She thinks it's better that way, and maybe it's true that a lot of borderlines who seem to get "better" with age are simply avoiding relationships. I quote her: "When I'm not in relationships, I'm lonely but I can manage. In relationships, my fears of abandonment are immediately triggered."

I don't want to make people lose hope by saying "if you've got BPD then you're destined to a life of loneliness" but this is my personal view on the whole "BPD gets better with age" notion. It's still possible to sustain healthy relationships despite this ****** illness, but it takes a lot of work.

You speak the truth. You have to find someone who is willing to work hard on a relationship. There are too many healthy women out here. What man wants to work hard on a relationship they just have too many other options.

I had a therapist tell me I need to accept the fact "I need learn to accept I will be alone the rest of my life". Because of my BPD everyone including me will be so much better off if I isolate myself and never start conversations with other people. This philosophy has helped but I am still totally lonely. I think about suicide a lot who wants this life - no one. Trigger - I just wish I was brave enough. I have this large concrete bridge. All I have to climb on it and jump. I am just a scary cat. I am 66 I have no reason to keep living.