[perceptionz]

I met this girl, and when we were clicking, I was more motivated than ever to chase my dreams, be way more physically appealing, shed my extra body fat, get great grades, everything in my life I wanted to excel at when she was clicking with me.

I see that she's broken. She's extremely shy, and I can just sense how much she's hurting, and I so badly want to fix her and show her how amazing she is, but she refuses to let me in. She shows all signs of interest, but runs when I try engaging with her.

When we broke it off, I cried for 3 weeks straight and couldn't get out of bed. I then numbed myself to her, deleted her number, just tried to convince myself that it was all in my head.

All of my motivation to better myself in the ways I listed and then some was and still is gone.

I know this is a common problem; not being able to better yourself for yourself, but only for someone or something else, but I don't know what it's characterized as. I really need some help as to why this is, what this situation is referred to as, and how I can shift the focus to bettering myself because I believe I deserve it and am worthy.

Thanks in advance, and happy holidays.

[ThunderGoddess]

I can't tell why or what it is other than human nature some take it harder than others. Maybe speaking to a therapist would help you understand why. The best thing I can advise is to start looking for positive ways to cope. Make a list of activities that would make you happy and do them. Look up positive affirmations and pick your favorites to repeat each day. Visit the parts of this forum that has good vibes such as The Coffeehouse!

The Coffeehouse - Forums at Psych Central