[ARflowerstar]

What do professionals think of BPD? I'm curious, as I struggle with BPD and it probably isn't hard for people to think we're attention seekers :/ So I was wondering, how do professionals really describe people with BPD? Be completely honest because I don't want it to be sugarcoated. Do they really think we are manipulative attention seekers? Or do they think of us as people who have extreme emotions and reactivity to situations? And what do regular people think of us? Do they think there's nothing wrong with us because nobody could possibly get so upset over the tiniest things? I really want to know

[dancinglady]

Originally Posted by ARflowerstar

What do professionals think of BPD? I'm curious, as I struggle with BPD and it probably isn't hard for people to think we're attention seekers :/ So I was wondering, how do professionals really describe people with BPD? Be completely honest because I don't want it to be sugarcoated. Do they really think we are manipulative attention seekers? Or do they think of us as people who have extreme emotions and reactivity to situations? And what do regular people think of us? Do they think there's nothing wrong with us because nobody could possibly get so upset over the tiniest things? I really want to know

Really depends on the Therapist but most believe we do everything to get attention.

[Justbyou]

The therapist I've been seeing for 6 years said before me she had never treated anyone with BPD and didn't want to. She felt they were hard to help. Never mentioned we were attention seekers though. We've both taught each other a lot throughout the years.

[Unrigged64072835]

This is why I hate going to hospitals. I have both bipolar and BPD, and because of the latter I get treated differently, even if it's bipolar.

[Justbyou]

Originally Posted by Fharraige

This is why I hate going to hospitals. I have both bipolar and BPD, and because of the latter I get treated differently, even if it's bipolar.

I think we are sometimes treated differently because we are often misunderstood. It seems a lot of people don't know how to handle us.

I'm sorry you had to go through that.

[HD7970GHZ]

Great question!

I have heard many things. On first thought I would agree that some think of us as attention seekers; but let's be honest with ourselves - sometimes we do seek attention and sometimes we both NEED and DESERVE IT! Most professionals are aware that we seek attention mostly to ward off emptiness and loneliness because we are in fact: alone and feel empty... Force any human being into our shoes and I guarantee they will also seek attention. Often times we end up alone because we cannot self-soothe. This is sometimes due to issues with object constancy due to childhood trauma; which is out of our control. Professionals are beginning to see Borderline PD as an offshoot of Complex PTSD (which I have to agree with). In seeing Borderline PD as a result of trauma - it takes away from the idea that it is WHO someone is. It allows professionals to see us as human beings who have been through unique circumstances that were out of our control. Put any human being through emotional trauma, abandonment, betrayals and abuse and see how they turn out...

They can rationalize that our behavior is due to past traumas - and so long as they see it that way - I think we can be treated nicely because they see us as human beings - influenced and changed by our external environments... How can they blame a trauma victim when they did not choose to have trauma in their life?

Every human being has traits of Borderline Personality Disorder. Think about how many people have trouble when a relationship ends... Relationship problems are at the core of ALOT of issues, not just for Borderline sufferers. Humans are meant to be together. We are social creatures. I think Borderline sufferers feel loneliness to a greater extent and because we can and often ARE alone - we make desperate attempts NOT to be alone - and when we do - we go about it the wrong way and ultimately end up alone. Most professionals see this. It is the self-fulfilling prophecy. Most Borderlines who truly recover are the ones who are self-aware enough to catch themselves in their old patterns and habits. Our feelings don't have to dictate our behavior - no matter how intense and strong our feelings are. We just need to master ourselves.

I took an intro to psych 101 course in university. In one class the professor talked about Borderline Personality Disorder. He was a practicing therapist when he was not teaching. At the end of the class, I went to speak to the professor and said I had an interest in BPD... In that moment he mocked the illness and said, "don't leave me, oh I just don't want to be alone," in a whiny girly voice.... It caught me off guard, as not only was he a professional, I was also his student and I also secretly suffered from Borderline PD. I was instantly offended and ended the conversation quickly. He picked up my nonverbal cues (as I had a hard time hiding my anger) though and was nice to me the remainder of the course. I really wish I had of stopped him right then and there and clarified for him what it FEELS like to have Borderline PD. For awhile I generalized about that statement he made and had a sick sensation in my stomach that maybe all healthcare professionals felt that way - that maybe - his comment was a reflection of reality amongst the mental health community... I think Borderline sufferers are topic of interest when it comes to stigma because we are so dramatic. We certainly draw professionals into strong emotional transference - whether that be positive or negative - it is certainly a highlight in ones career.

I have had good therapists and bad. I have had mediocre therapists. Some of them will ignore the diagnosis and see it is a useless label and instead focus on the human being sitting in front of them. Some are quick to determine my character or judge me before ever meeting me. Some are extremely empathetic and identify with the stigma surrounding the diagnosis and recognize that someone who has BPD is fragile at heart and requires validation. Some will invalidate intentionally so as to "challenge," and, "trigger." Whether they do this intentionally with hopes that it will help, or if it is malicious - I do not know. Sometimes I think the helping profession (like any) attracts people who like control.

Truth is - I cannot give you a simple answer because at this point, there are SO many different opinions about Borderline PD.

Here is what I think is going on...

I think there is a paradigm shift taking place in the world of psychology. You have to remember: psychology is still in its infancy. (They used to consider homosexuality a mental illness and try to cure it through chemical castration...) As a science, it is based on trial and error and slow meticulous testing and statistical analysis. In essence - all mental health patients take part in a big research study: to advance and improve treatment for future patients. Borderline Personality Disorder (the diagnosis) was first included in the DSM in the 1980's... There is still lots to learn. Unfortunately, we are getting the brunt of it right now. This is why it is so important to remain strong and learn to accept ourselves and advocate for proper treatment!

Given the sheer numbers of people who suffer mental illness - society has finally deemed stigma an important social phenomenon that requires change. While this transition occurs, you will find healthcare professionals from old and new philosophies of treatment and care. I think this is partly why some healthcare professionals are nice and some are not; differing ideals about what helps versus what harms. Aside from that - you have to remember that these professionals are individual human beings. Each has their own set of morals and values, despite the fact that they share the same professional standing. Sometimes the difference between someone who properly cares for a Borderline sufferer and someone who doesn't, is NOT a matter of training - rather, it is a reflection of that particular professional as a person.

Thanks,
HD7970ghz

My t says a competent and good practitioner will wait to diagnose. They won't judge you. You should feel safe.

In terms of the general public. Some don't know what it is. Others have very skewed and misunderstood idea of it, says my t. I'm learning about this so that's helpful. I had a friend who used to say " my ex bf is b.p.d. It's a very serious and severe mental diagnosis.". I think that tho she didn't mean to, she added to the stereotype. It's just more intense emotions and distorted thoughts. Everyone is dealing w something.

[ARflowerstar]

Originally Posted by HD7970GHZ

Great question!

I have heard many things. On first thought I would agree that some think of us as attention seekers; but let's be honest with ourselves - sometimes we do seek attention and sometimes we both NEED and DESERVE IT! Most professionals are aware that we seek attention mostly to ward off emptiness and loneliness because we are in fact: alone and feel empty... Force any human being into our shoes and I guarantee they will also seek attention. Often times we end up alone because we cannot self-soothe. This is sometimes due to issues with object constancy due to childhood trauma; which is out of our control. Professionals are beginning to see Borderline PD as an offshoot of Complex PTSD (which I have to agree with). In seeing Borderline PD as a result of trauma - it takes away from the idea that it is WHO someone is. It allows professionals to see us as human beings who have been through unique circumstances that were out of our control. Put any human being through emotional trauma, abandonment, betrayals and abuse and see how they turn out...

They can rationalize that our behavior is due to past traumas - and so long as they see it that way - I think we can be treated nicely because they see us as human beings - influenced and changed by our external environments... How can they blame a trauma victim when they did not choose to have trauma in their life?

Every human being has traits of Borderline Personality Disorder. Think about how many people have trouble when a relationship ends... Relationship problems are at the core of ALOT of issues, not just for Borderline sufferers. Humans are meant to be together. We are social creatures. I think Borderline sufferers feel loneliness to a greater extent and because we can and often ARE alone - we make desperate attempts NOT to be alone - and when we do - we go about it the wrong way and ultimately end up alone. Most professionals see this. It is the self-fulfilling prophecy. Most Borderlines who truly recover are the ones who are self-aware enough to catch themselves in their old patterns and habits. Our feelings don't have to dictate our behavior - no matter how intense and strong our feelings are. We just need to master ourselves.

I took an intro to psych 101 course in university. In one class the professor talked about Borderline Personality Disorder. He was a practicing therapist when he was not teaching. At the end of the class, I went to speak to the professor and said I had an interest in BPD... In that moment he mocked the illness and said, "don't leave me, oh I just don't want to be alone," in a whiny girly voice.... It caught me off guard, as not only was he a professional, I was also his student and I also secretly suffered from Borderline PD. I was instantly offended and ended the conversation quickly. He picked up my nonverbal cues (as I had a hard time hiding my anger) though and was nice to me the remainder of the course. I really wish I had of stopped him right then and there and clarified for him what it FEELS like to have Borderline PD. For awhile I generalized about that statement he made and had a sick sensation in my stomach that maybe all healthcare professionals felt that way - that maybe - his comment was a reflection of reality amongst the mental health community... I think Borderline sufferers are topic of interest when it comes to stigma because we are so dramatic. We certainly draw professionals into strong emotional transference - whether that be positive or negative - it is certainly a highlight in ones career.

I have had good therapists and bad. I have had mediocre therapists. Some of them will ignore the diagnosis and see it is a useless label and instead focus on the human being sitting in front of them. Some are quick to determine my character or judge me before ever meeting me. Some are extremely empathetic and identify with the stigma surrounding the diagnosis and recognize that someone who has BPD is fragile at heart and requires validation. Some will invalidate intentionally so as to "challenge," and, "trigger." Whether they do this intentionally with hopes that it will help, or if it is malicious - I do not know. Sometimes I think the helping profession (like any) attracts people who like control.

Truth is - I cannot give you a simple answer because at this point, there are SO many different opinions about Borderline PD.

Here is what I think is going on...

I think there is a paradigm shift taking place in the world of psychology. You have to remember: psychology is still in its infancy. (They used to consider homosexuality a mental illness and try to cure it through chemical castration...) As a science, it is based on trial and error and slow meticulous testing and statistical analysis. In essence - all mental health patients take part in a big research study: to advance and improve treatment for future patients. Borderline Personality Disorder (the diagnosis) was first included in the DSM in the 1980's... There is still lots to learn. Unfortunately, we are getting the brunt of it right now. This is why it is so important to remain strong and learn to accept ourselves and advocate for proper treatment!

Given the sheer numbers of people who suffer mental illness - society has finally deemed stigma an important social phenomenon that requires change. While this transition occurs, you will find healthcare professionals from old and new philosophies of treatment and care. I think this is partly why some healthcare professionals are nice and some are not; differing ideals about what helps versus what harms. Aside from that - you have to remember that these professionals are individual human beings. Each has their own set of morals and values, despite the fact that they share the same professional standing. Sometimes the difference between someone who properly cares for a Borderline sufferer and someone who doesn't, is NOT a matter of training - rather, it is a reflection of that particular professional as a person.

Thanks,
HD7970ghz

Thanks for the long and thorough reply! I would love to see it from your point of view, as due to the trauma, but I never really had any childhood trauma so unfortunately I can't really blame BPD on that.... My psychiatrist is blaming it on bullying but I honestly can't believe something like bullying could possibly cause me to have BPD

[HD7970GHZ]

Certainly everyone with a borderline diagnosis has a different life experience.

Who's to say that bullying is not trauma?

I am sorry that you went through bullying. I did too and it certainly played a role in my illness. Trauma will be different for everyone. People have been traumatized by simple things that others brush off as nothing. Bullying is a form of emotional abuse. It certainly impacts ones life and certainly can traumatize!

I think people associate the word trauma with the extreme. Everyone experiences trauma in their life; some just handle things differently.

I have heard Marsha Linehan has a theory about what environment fosters someone to develop borderline PD. According to her - one who is extremely sensitive is likely to develop Borderline when they live in an invalidating environment.

Bullying is extremely invalidating and my guess is you are very sensitive.

Thanks,
Hd7970ghz

[ARflowerstar]

Originally Posted by HD7970GHZ

Certainly everyone with a borderline diagnosis has a different life experience.

Who's to say that bullying is not trauma?

I am sorry that you went through bullying. I did too and it certainly played a role in my illness. Trauma will be different for everyone. People have been traumatized by simple things that others brush off as nothing. Bullying is a form of emotional abuse. It certainly impacts ones life and certainly can traumatize!

I think people associate the word trauma with the extreme. Everyone experiences trauma in their life; some just handle things differently.

I have heard Marsha Linehan has a theory about what environment fosters someone to develop borderline PD. According to her - one who is extremely sensitive is likely to develop Borderline when they live in an invalidating environment.

Bullying is extremely invalidating and my guess is you are very sensitive.

Thanks,
Hd7970ghz

Yes, it makes sense. I've been locked in small dark rooms, been beaten up, and been teased and made fun of and I have always been pretty sensitive so every little this has always affected me a lot. Once again, thank you for your reply!

[HD7970GHZ]

ARflowerstar,

Originally Posted by ARflowerstar

Yes, it makes sense. I've been locked in small dark rooms, been beaten up, and been teased and made fun of and I have always been pretty sensitive so every little this has always affected me a lot. Once again, thank you for your reply!

That is horrible! My gut hurt when I read this... I am so sorry that you went through this... Have you worked through this in therapy?

[ARflowerstar]

Originally Posted by HD7970GHZ

ARflowerstar,


That is horrible! My gut hurt when I read this... I am so sorry that you went through this... Have you worked through this in therapy?

Don't really care anymore... Everyone thought it was just a joke. The worst part of it was that the blame always went to ME. Apparently I was the one who started the fight. Apparently I was the one who DECIDED to go in the janitors closets and lock myself in. It was always MY fault. I always got in trouble and punished for what "I" did. I mean. I'm trying to put it behind me. Because sometimes.. I feel like maybe it WAS my fault...