[Creeture124]

Hello new here just looking for a little advice.

I've been recently diagnosed with BPD after a lengthy stay at a mental health facility ((I ODed by doing 2 grams of heroin in one go))

I've been out for about 4 months, and since I've taken myself off my meds and im unable to go to therapy as much anymore. I work 6 days a week 10-12 hour days((im a lead chef)) and I can feel myself starting to lose it. Work was a safe haven for me. My job is very high stress never a mommemt to stop and think always go go go. And this has always helped me for my thoughts and emotions to take a back seat. But now it increasing hard to go to work let alone stay there. I feel on edge the entire time, my thoughts are always somewhere else.
So my question is, do I leave my job I love much or stick it out and hope that the thing that brought me stillness in the middle of the storm comes back.

[Skeezyks]

Hello Creeture: Well... you write you were hospitalized following a heroin overdose, you've taken yourself off your med's, & you can't go to therapy much presumably because of your intense work schedule. I don't know how recent this overdose & hospitalization were. I've overdosed twice on prescription med's & been hospitalized both times. And I will tell you it takes a while to recover from those kinds of experiences.

I don't know about the BPD diagnosis. Personally I don't set a whole lot of store by mental health diagnoses. One professional will say one thing. You go to another & they'll say something else. What strikes me here, though, is that you've pretty-much set yourself up for a fall... recent (presumably) overdose & hospitalization, no med's, no therapy, super-intensive demanding work schedule. And now you're wondering if you should quit your job or try to stick it out in hopes it will create some calmness in the middle of the storm.

Perhaps the ideal course of action would be to simply cut back your work hours temporarily while you get back into therapy, possibly get back on some med's (?), & allow yourself some time to recuperate from your overdose & hospitalization. However I take it that this is perhaps an all-or-nothing job situation... you either work 10 to 12 hours a day 6 days a week or you're out.

You wrote that you love your job. So, that being the case, I certainly would hate to see you throw it away. But with your recent history plus the difficulties you're encountering at the moment, I also question how likely it is that your job is going to produce the calm you're looking for. I don't know how long you've been back at work. I presume not long. Assuming that's the case, I guess my thinking would be that you might give it a bit more time... maybe a week or two & see if things settle down for you. However, if they don't, then my thinking would be that you may simply have to acknowledge that the combination of your current mental health difficulties & this job simply are not compatible. So you may have to seek alternative employment. That's going to be a hard pill to swallow I would guess. But it may be the reality of your situation. I wish you well...

[Puella Non-Grata]

I worked in a kitchen for a little bit after wasting 2 years in culinary school. I have an idea of what it's like to work in the field. I would take a break in the cooler just to scream it out or sneak a desert or too to calm me down. Basically working around food made me prone to eat more. I left the field because cooking wasn't my passion anymore. The stress was too much. What I needed was a fast paced job that didn't require running around with my head cut off working on multiple dishes as once. **** that noise. So I get it...especially if it pays the bills. But since this is obviously your passion and you enjoy it for reasons, stick it out or use some personal time to see a professional. Maybe you might have to find a kitchen job that will give you more time. Perhaps you can step down and be a sous chef? Find a job where you aren't the only chef in the kitchen so that you can have 2 days off.

I was in psych for almost a week because I was smoking spice (synth weed addict) for two years, quit cold turkey along with my meds only to then overdose on those when the withdraws were at the worst. At the same time I was with an emotionally abusive ex. Drug addiction in combination with MI is the shittiest. You're already damaged yet made worse by dependency on recreational drugs.

[Creeture124]

Originally Posted by Skeezyks

Hello Creeture: Well... you write you were hospitalized following a heroin overdose, you've taken yourself off your med's, & you can't go to therapy much presumably because of your intense work schedule. I don't know how recent this overdose & hospitalization were. I've overdosed twice on prescription med's & been hospitalized both times. And I will tell you it takes a while to recover from those kinds of experiences.

I don't know about the BPD diagnosis. Personally I don't set a whole lot of store by mental health diagnoses. One professional will say one thing. You go to another & they'll say something else. What strikes me here, though, is that you've pretty-much set yourself up for a fall... recent (presumably) overdose & hospitalization, no med's, no therapy, super-intensive demanding work schedule. And now you're wondering if you should quit your job or try to stick it out in hopes it will create some calmness in the middle of the storm.

Perhaps the ideal course of action would be to simply cut back your work hours temporarily while you get back into therapy, possibly get back on some med's (?), & allow yourself some time to recuperate from your overdose & hospitalization. However I take it that this is perhaps an all-or-nothing job situation... you either work 10 to 12 hours a day 6 days a week or you're out.

You wrote that you love your job. So, that being the case, I certainly would hate to see you throw it away. But with your recent history plus the difficulties you're encountering at the moment, I also question how likely it is that your job is going to produce the calm you're looking for. I don't know how long you've been back at work. I presume not long. Assuming that's the case, I guess my thinking would be that you might give it a bit more time... maybe a week or two & see if things settle down for you. However, if they don't, then my thinking would be that you may simply have to acknowledge that the combination of your current mental health difficulties & this job simply are not compatible. So you may have to seek alternative employment. That's going to be a hard pill to swallow I would guess. But it may be the reality of your situation. I wish you well...

I've been at my job for almost 3 years I came back after my hospilazation, im off meds thinking I could handle life again but your right I set myself up to fail. And yes it is an all or nothing job. If I would ask for less hours I would have to step down from my position and that to me wpuld be just as bad as leaving. Im very proud of what I do. I never had these issues while working before my hospilazation maybe it was the herion. I gave my boss my month notice today. Today was very bad and very intense. This is one of the saddest days of my life. Hopefully it was the right call.
Thank you for your input

[Victoria'smom]

Try to get into a Intensive Outpatient Program if you can.