I am exhausted and depressed :(

Things are hard and have been so hard the last years.

Dental issues, money issues, relationship issues, health issues, can't keep up with my studies or work without getting burned out.
Even my pets are sick I got a kitten some weeks ago but now he is severely sick and I feel so bad about it + the vet is insanely expensive.

I find it extremely difficult to find strength to go on, and I mostly live for other people. But I would be glad if I died of a heart attack and didn't have to fight anymore

BPD gives me severe derealization and I want to leave it all sometimes. I want to live in another reality where I am not me, not me with all these issues.

I am in therapy but I am anxious bcs it is a 30 week program and I'm worried it will not be enough time. Being worried about it makes me distance myself from my psychologist, I don't want to be left.

I feel trapped and exhausted and have very little joy in my life

I wish this wasn't my life and I wish I wasn't myself

I don't know how to fix things

Ms Lizette, I know how you feel. I have 5 dogs and all of them have some sort of medical need. I feel like I can never get ahead in areas of money.