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#1
May 10, 2017, 09:07 AM
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I should know how this stuff works by now! I thought I was having an ok couple of days,apart from not being able to resist the alcohol an then the inevitable fallout then the penny dropped ,I am numb an I it i want to feel something,anything even if it's bad how can I be so in self aware stupid woman grrrrrrrr !! ,
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sometimes crimson acts like a crazy cat, She has to remind herself, she is good and kind ... For that's a fact. 😺 like a small boat on the ocean , sending big waves into motion like how a single word, can make a heart open, I might have only one match But i can make an Explosion ! Rachel. Platten. Fight song. Member since 03/10/09 (new user name) |
 Lonlin3zz, Ms.Lizette, subtle lights
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#2
May 10, 2017, 02:57 PM
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I'm sorry you are down
 Did something happen or it's "just" the emotional rollercoaster? |
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#3
May 10, 2017, 03:26 PM
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The rollercoaster,an I kind had a bit of an epiphany,have been in crisis loads lately an realized it only eases when its so overwhelming i numb out and then I further realized that that is it my two state of mind ,numb or crisis nothing else !!! It has taken 35 years to suss this out , it's no wonder I don't want to be here and can't function in this world wtf do I do ?
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sometimes crimson acts like a crazy cat, She has to remind herself, she is good and kind ... For that's a fact. 😺 like a small boat on the ocean , sending big waves into motion like how a single word, can make a heart open, I might have only one match But i can make an Explosion ! Rachel. Platten. Fight song. Member since 03/10/09 (new user name) |
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#4
May 10, 2017, 04:13 PM
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I don't really know how to get out of the rollercoaster, just somehow accept and learn to ride it. And yeah, only a thought will catapult me into crisis mode sometimes.
Sometimes the only way it to wait it out, until it passes. Easy to say, I know. I don't experiece much numbness lately, more like painful emptiness. But I know the more calm, in between states are there too, it's possibe to reach them. I'm sorry I can't be more helpful here...I could come with suggestions of self soothing methods but I believe you know them anyway and when in crisis, nothing really helps. Though I trust you'll find a way to self sooth, and be gentle with yourself because you deserve it
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#5
May 10, 2017, 05:07 PM
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Thankyou, painful emptiness is actually a better description of what I feel rather than numb.
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sometimes crimson acts like a crazy cat, She has to remind herself, she is good and kind ... For that's a fact. 😺 like a small boat on the ocean , sending big waves into motion like how a single word, can make a heart open, I might have only one match But i can make an Explosion ! Rachel. Platten. Fight song. Member since 03/10/09 (new user name) |
| subtle lights
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#6
May 10, 2017, 05:56 PM
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Calling yourself stupid isn't good. Be gentle with yourself. These things happen, and sometimes even we think we're in control, we're not. It's the insidiousness of this disease called BPD.
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 crimsoncat
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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