[Ms.Lizette]

I find myself drinking more than usual just to cope.....

my mother is coming for my wedding all the way from another continent, I don't want to end up in the ER again like the other Sunday

I want to keep it together...

Alcohol helps...

I don't want to do this but I just don't know how to stop my chaos without alcohol when I feel like this

I am such a failure

Is it normal to drink around 6 shots of vodka a day? Am I imagining that this is a problem? I am not sure anymore

I take pride in not having a substance abuse....is this a substance abuse? If it happens some weeks at the time but not always? Should I tell my doctor?

[subtle lights]

I'm not sure what to say, because I'm doing something very simlar lately...Sometimes (most days) I'm just too overwhelmed, from the smallest things, the anxiety just creeps up on me and then I use my unhealthy coping techniqes because nothing else seem to work.
Maybe "waiting it out" would work but when the feelings are too intense, I just can't.

If it's considered a substance abuse issue, I don't know, been wondering the same. I guess it depends if you are able to stop. But this is not easy to figure out. Or if you need to drink even when you are not stressed, anxious.

I was not drinking anything for two days and I told to myself I'm okay, but not sure this is a good way to assess the sitation.

I usually drink variable amounts, it depends. Sometimes one drink, and I'm okay. Sometimes much more..

I'm sorry you're going through very stressful times lately
You're definitely not a failure

[Ms.Lizette]

I can be many many days without drinking , then one day I need to drink a lot, all day....it is probably hard to compare to a substance abuse because it depends on the situation.

I am not getting any meds from the doctor although I described my anxiety level quite clearly.

I am not able to figure out better ways to cope with this It is just too strong right now, too intense like you say.

I guess better tipsy than dead

[Ms.Lizette]

I really feel like a complete failure though

I see so much potential in other people but me myself I just feel like a incompetent dreadful muttonhead

[dermald]

Alcohol is a substance. Abusing it equates to substance abuse. Same goes for prescriptions. Some people get confused and think that the legal or illegal nature of something makes a difference. It doesn't.

I'm the kind of person who buys a 12-pack of beer, and then six months later realize that I have more than half of it left.

It may help with coping in the short term, but it can cause damage in the long term.

I do know this stress of which you speak. My girlfriend's brother died recently, and a flock of her family came into town. It was a constant flow of at least a handful of people, all wanting to do things, go places, or asking to be entertained. When we'd eat, this one old uncle just couldn't shut up, and kept talking as if he was afraid of anything resembling silence.

I didn't drink, but I did crack and lie to them, saying I had to go out of town to help a family member. I ended up leaving town and staying somewhere overnight, so I could have some peace and quiet, and "re-fuel," as someone who suffers Social Anxiety.

Maybe some drinks are what you need to do for now. I hold no judgment. It just can't be a long term fix.

Maybe after the wedding, when everything dies down, talk to a therapist and see if you can get to the root of it and find more healthy, sustainable ways to cope.

That's what I'm doing right now.

[Fuzzybear]

I'm sorry you feel like a failure

It's such an ugly word, and it's not true

"Cope" isn't one of my favourite words either. I don't even know what it means. I'm not very smart

[subtle lights]

Ok, I'm sort of on this same boat now...

[crimsoncat]

Me too

[offroad711]

For 20 years I drank to cope with my BPD. To be honest it worked very well! Never drank everyday and most of the time did not even need to get drunk. Of course depending on how strong my emotions were would depend on how much I drank. After my best friends suicide, my drinking got very dangerous and I would just do very crazy things. Today I am 800 days sober. It is a struggle but I am very afraid if I drink I will hurt someone or myself.

Only the person can decide if your drinking is dangerous or harmful. If someone could just do it to take their emotional edge off from time to time like I did for many years then who am I to judge. But then again it took like 5 years of literal hell to finally get sober!! Waking up from a blackout not knowing the crazy things I had done is a very very scary thing. As they say it progressive.

Cocked and Loaded is a really good book about someone that shot someone in a bar in a blackout. Found out the next morning when he woke up did not remember a thing--true story! I read alcohol books, news articles, ect to constantly remind me how important my sobriety is.

[Unrigged64072835]

I used to self-medicate with alcohol. I figured I was unlovable and might as well numb the painful feelings. I don't drink now because of the meds and my liver is messed up. I still struggle with food now, though. I know the healthy coping skills. I just need to remember them when the pain is too much.

[Ofeelia]

I'm a binge drinker and use alcohol to cope, mainly vodka. My therapist said that there lies a difference between drinking, and drinking to cope. Due to alcohol being a depressant, it can make you feel even worse. Probably the day after without you realizing it. I certainly do. My only concern right now with alcohol other than health issues, is that I will do things that I normally would not do. I also drink alone and find myself crying towards the end of the night. I know all too well how triggering family can be especially around such an amazing time as your wedding. You getting married is number one priority and no one can mess with that. Just drink responsibly and don't let it get out of hand. You will be filled with so much endorphins on your wedding day, you might not even need a drink. Well, thats what happened to me anyway. Congratulations on your wedding, it YOUR day.

[offroad711]

Originally Posted by Ofeelia

I'm a binge drinker and use alcohol to cope, mainly vodka. My therapist said that there lies a difference between drinking, and drinking to cope. Due to alcohol being a depressant, it can make you feel even worse. Probably the day after without you realizing it. I certainly do. My only concern right now with alcohol other than health issues, is that I will do things that I normally would not do. I also drink alone and find myself crying towards the end of the night. I know all too well how triggering family can be especially around such an amazing time as your wedding. You getting married is number one priority and no one can mess with that. Just drink responsibly and don't let it get out of hand. You will be filled with so much endorphins on your wedding day, you might not even need a drink. Well, thats what happened to me anyway. Congratulations on your wedding, it YOUR day.

I actually hate that saying that alcohol is a depressant. It is a depressant meaning "having the quality of depressing or lowering vital activities" "reducing functional or nervous activity". Cannot count the number of therapists because it is a depressant say it brings on depression in a individual!!! Nothing to do with clinical depression!

There obviously lots of people that it can bring on depression especially if drank to abuse. In my case it was a antidepressant for many years after days of being depressed it could magically take me out of a depression. My theory is that it resets my fight or flight, but who hell knows. Taking a BPD person down a couple of notches can be a godsend...This is why it took so many years to get sober because it was the only thing worked.

Not to encourage anyone to use it that way because as I said it was hell in the end and not worth it. Better to learn mindfulness or other techniques that are not a quick fix like alcohol, but can be effective without the negative end game...