very self distructive

i feel so ****ing self destructive i have cut my wrist the other night now all i want to do is hurt myself more including Blinding myself
av been put on new meds in the last two months they dont saidate my as much as the old one i think i need my old meds back and not use this one or i need to be given other meds

i just feel i need to hurt myself all the time something got to give i dont see my dr for a few weeks and i dont see my psych until august i think i need to see a dr before then but if its a dr i dont know she/ he might not help me and tell me to wait and i cant wait

I'm so sorry to hear this. I used to cut too out of such cringing pain.......... Now im left with scars and no solutions. Please call your doctor and inquire about your meds. It might be a side effect that is making you feel the need to cut. Reach out. I hope youre feeling better and please be careful

seeing if i can see my regular dr on Monday but it may take up to a week before i can see her i could see another dr but they might not change my meds without my regular dr

want to really hurt myself

i hate it when the meds change ...

im going through med changes too...

but im all numb and empty right now so i guess im ok... waiting to get my new meds and not taking anything atm...

im really sorry that you are experiencing these negative effects...

i wish this stuff was more exact... its not fair that we have to go through this

please hold on tight and breathe deep and slow...

dont hurt yourself, i dont know you but i know your pain and i care deeply because of this...

i dont want you to hurt yourself... you dont deserve such pain...

its not fair

damn it all to hell...

stay safe please... i feel your pain...

feel **** hate myself death feels like its near ...**** keeps getting shittier **** me

when i feel like dat... i just curl up in the bed and hold my pillow...

not moving... close my eyes... and try not to think....

sometimes not doing anything is the best thing...

it doesnt make me feel better so much... but it doesnt make me feel worse...

because when i try to make myself feel better it makes everything worse...

so when i do nothing its like better... its like giving up... without hurting myself or killing myself... so not doing any harm... but giving up still... and it makes me feel a little better maybe oddly i cant explain...

and sometimes i pass out... and its safe... that way i dont hurt myself...

can you do that...? that way time will pass... and you will be safe...

if i had someone special that i could think about i would think about them too...

but i dont have anyone special to think about so that makes me feel worse and i try to avoid thinking about that...

but if you do then maybe day dream about them... try to run away from the bad feelings and thoughts...

in my mind i can sometimes escape the world... escape everything... only sometimes...

but when i can its nice...

things are no better ... feel so low have an appointment with my drs next Thursday unsure if i can make it until them without doing something really bad to myself , the fact my husband has thrown out the tools so i cant cut i was at a safe house in the week but i think i kinda pissed them off by leaving at 6 am in a hurry i just wanted to be home hate being away from my husband even for a night
but there are other things i can use if i put my mind to it and am not watched when my husband is a sleep unsure if am suicidal i dont know if i am am depressed or its my ****ing BPD that making me like this i just dont ****ing know

whats the worse i can do ??? would call someone but i see no point in that its not like they can change my mood unless they now have something for that maybe i need mood stabilisers or what ever **** i need just cant keep taking more and more pills my husband would need to buy a another money box to keep my meds in as he has to lock all my **** away

I feel like using **** again ....mostly weed but that would make **** worse plus there all the illegal **** with that wish we lived in Canada
but a ho am in Scotland where this **** can get your arrested
of to bed hope to **** tomorrow is better and thanks for posting back to me

Smokin weed helps me alot.... It's the harder things that might complicate stuff... Smoke weed don't hurt your self... 👽👽👽👽❤

only problem with weed is my husband is against drugs he wouldn't stay with me if i was using it

I'm right where you are. But I'm sick of wearing long sleeved tees to hide the scars. It's hot here. I'm going through a med change and a pdoc change and I'm all F**** Up. I don't want to do it and I'm not but at the same time I want relief. I get Zanax tomorrow which will help. Are you on a benzo?

Im sorry youre feeling bad. I feel the same and feel 1000000% hopeless