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#1
Jul 04, 2017, 12:29 PM
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 Fuzzybear, subtle lights
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#2
Jul 05, 2017, 07:03 AM
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i feel like my personality was split
a part of me being well and ok, going about the days getting high and enjoying everything the way i do while another part is equally existing feeling the opposites... its so difficult talking to others when you feel like this... talking to drug dealers when you feel like this, talking to family, friends, doctors... because part of you is talking and another part is listening shaking its head in doubt and disbelief... i dont understand how its happened or how i can go from 0 to 100 so fast, how i can flip upside down so fast, how i can change so fast, how everything is just so messed up... where is the concrete foundation how am i supposed to know what i want to do, what im supposed to do, with these feelings when it feels like i cant tell what is my feelings anymore... but here i am writing when i really don't like talking about this stuff because it makes me feel so bad... but how am i going to figure it out if i dont..? or maybe i shouldn't figure it out, maybe im just making a huge mess inside a perfectly normal mind i just wish i could feel like 1 whole person... broken into many...
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| FeelingOpaque
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#3
Jul 05, 2017, 10:41 AM
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its just all made up illusion that was put into my head
a program that makes me think i am sick, ill, depressed, feeling bad, and having bad times... its not me, not a part of me, nothing to do with me... i just need to get rid of it, reconfigure it, delete it, or something... because i dont need it, its bad, its not good.. i like to be happy, i like to feel good why must there always be an intrusive part feeling bad all the time? it takes so much energy to fight with, but i will not give up until i get rid of it... i dont want it in my life, no one wants it in my life, no one cares for it, no one wants to see it, it needs to go away its ridiculous, there is no reason for the stupidity... the sadness... the pain i just want my life, stop trying to have multiple lives
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#4
Jul 06, 2017, 09:45 AM
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my existence is confusing
im really fine, really but im really not fine... really i dont understand, but im not gonna obsess anymore...
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| sinking
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 sinking
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#5
Jul 11, 2017, 02:20 AM
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the photo you post reminds me of Carl Jung and his work regarding the Shadow self. Maybe not everything can be made OK by meds, therapy, etc. Maybe there's more. Power, is it?? Money? Love? What gives you stability in life? Life is something we have to adjust to with all its ups, downs and **** yous. Looking back I nearly took my life and destroyed things just to exit this feeling of doom. Was it worth all the damn drama and intensity? I wish i wasn't wired this way. This is why i dont leave the house, i dont communicate with others. I am terrified to lose it all. What does the snake represent. I wonder
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