[-Astral-]

i have been feeling very low and upset due to my BPD i keep thinking that everyone is against me and not really my friends because am paranoid i was bullied at school a lot because of this i dont know who i should trust i know its part of this illness i have a hard time knowing peoples intentions i think that one friend is only friends with me as it part of there job i feel like am the worse person ever and want to self injure and hurt myself in other ways
i feel needy and wanting comfort i am married to my husband who is very loving and is my career yet i keep having stupid fights with him over the most stupid things he is here with me right now and instead of holding each other or anything else that shows love am here at the other side of the room typing this
i feel like i cant express myself in the way i want to to my husband i love him very much but i think he also may have other motives for being with me
i am really paranoid ...yip very

[selena50]

I totally understand what you're saying. Personally, I gave up on friends a long time ago cuz I don't believe they truly exist. Most people are nothin but acquaintances to me anymore. I too am married and have had the most stupidest fights with my husband too. He's probably the best man I've ever had in my life, but yet something in the back of my mind keeps my guard up that he could be cheating on me behind my back, even though I really don't think he would do such a thing. I, myself, am also trying to figure out WHY I feel this way and how to stop it before it's too late.