[jean17]

I feel like having mental illness makes me unfit for any but superficial relationships. Why would anyone want to know me? Why would anyone want all "my stuff" to deal with? It makes me very lonely. How do you have a good relationship with anyone if I can 't have one with myself?

[here today]

I feel much the same way. Especially after my last T rejected and terminated me. After 55 years in therapy, on and off, at 70 years old, I remain clueless.

[Crookedspin]

Originally Posted by jean17

I feel like having mental illness makes me unfit for any but superficial relationships. Why would anyone want to know me? Why would anyone want all "my stuff" to deal with? It makes me very lonely. How do you have a good relationship with anyone if I can 't have one with myself?

I feel the same. In the past, have generally gone into dating when feeling well and also focused on showing my "best self" in order to be appealing. I don't want to either have to not be really me (which I can't even be socially, often) or put some poor, unsuspecting lover through finding out all that I am and am not. Would rather just keep to myself, and no longer be tempted to start something up with someone. I wonder if I'm being wrong about this... but would rather not risk all that pain and uncertainty.

I find that longtime friends can only handle depressed me so much. When speaking with friends I tend to focus conversation on them and whatever they're going through. I don't pretend things are great by me but I don't complain or let on just how bad I'm feeling. I've found that people are willing to be with you on this for a time, but only a time. I can't blame them--the discomfort and withdrawal of others is one of the things that makes depression so devastating.

So, I get what you're saying, in short I actually am working on improving my relationship with myself, in therapy and in some meditation/spiritual stuff, but until I'm a lot different, I'm keeping things superficial and pleasant with people.

[Teddy Bear]

I also feel unfit for relationships.

[GoldenSnitch]

I feel the same way. I don’t have friends. My marriage ended because of me and I haven’t dated much. My family relationships are okay but I don’t get real deep with anyone.