[PinkButterflies8915]

So I've learned recently that apparently a lot of us may become delusional when stressed. I know not everyone experiences this but I'm wondering if I struggle with it. I just don't want to say I do if I don't. However sometimes when I'm stressed out I start believing things that have no evidence for them and I can't shake them off. The most common one is that my boyfriend is cheating on me with a particular friend of his. Every so often I'll question him about it and he'll tell me that he's absolutely not cheating on me, he's a pretty trustworthy guy. But its like it doesn't even matter to me in those moments. I have violent thoughts (which I would not act on), I become incredibly upset and anxious because I'm convinced of this belief. Is this delusional behavior? Like I said nothing can shake this off and I'm scared of acting this way again.

[HD7970GHZ]

Hi Pink,

Originally Posted by PinkButterflies8915

So I've learned recently that apparently a lot of us may become delusional when stressed. I know not everyone experiences this but I'm wondering if I struggle with it. I just don't want to say I do if I don't. However sometimes when I'm stressed out I start believing things that have no evidence for them and I can't shake them off. The most common one is that my boyfriend is cheating on me with a particular friend of his. Every so often I'll question him about it and he'll tell me that he's absolutely not cheating on me, he's a pretty trustworthy guy. But its like it doesn't even matter to me in those moments. I have violent thoughts (which I would not act on), I become incredibly upset and anxious because I'm convinced of this belief. Is this delusional behavior? Like I said nothing can shake this off and I'm scared of acting this way again.

Cheating is highly probable. You are not delusional. Paranoid - yes - but perhaps it is your gut telling you something and in that case it might be justified. Justified emotions are based on fact / reality. If your boyfriend is cheating on you, then your paranoia is certainly justified. Either way it is possible that he is cheating - SO - it is justified. You just have to remember that your boyfriend may not be cheating. Until you know for a fact - try not to behave as though he is cheating or else you'll bring upon a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Paranoia is NOT psychosis / delusional. They are two different things. Paranoia is an important emotion that is highly stigmatized - unfortunately people are quick to label their emotions as delusional.

It is becoming a norm to cheat. It is sad. Just remember - emotions are NOT facts. They are important and should always be validated even when they are not justified - but you need to befriend your emotions because they have a purpose...

Also - people with BPD can have stress induced paranoid ideation - but all humans can.

Have a good day

Hope this helps,
Hd7970ghz

[crimsoncat]

I agree sounds like paranoia.

[Hayles]

Pink butterflies if I hadn't known better I would have thought I wrote this. I am having exactly the same issues at the moment. I have always been EXTREMELY jealous and we all know how destructive that can be to a relationship. There's only so much reassurance a partner is willing to give, I've been with my Boyf a year and his patience has just run out. His friend about whom I have similar thoughts to you is his ex!!! He still sees her regularly and texts her almost daily. He goes round hers and does things for her, just over a month ago we temporarily split and he said he still had feelings for her! A few days later he begged me to come back telling me that he missed that life not her???!!!! I'm not convinced at all and I am all consumed by these thoughts now. My day consists of judging his every move to try to get to the truth, our relationship used to be amazing up until four months ago, his ex started to date, things changed dramatically. He swears on everything dear to him that he doesn't have feelings for her, I'm imagining all sorts and literally suffer a panic attack every time I know he's with her. So a slightly different situation to yours, by the sounds of it I have a lot more reason to suspect, I mean that as in it sounds to me like your trust hasn't been tested too much, I think it may be the bpd causing you to think irrationally, from what you have said anyway. I on the other hand am also very jealous and paranoid both of which becoming extremely hard to cope with, but my paranoia and jealousy has been fed, by his comments and his refusal not to see her as much. If I could give you any advice I would say try as hard as you possibly can to trust, unless you have sufficient evidence it's unlikely he's cheating. Try not to keep asking for reassurance, try to refer back to his previous efforts to reassure you if you can, constant seeking of reassurance is draining and destructive and patience will run out. It's a downward spiral, try to stay positive and look at all the evidence to support the fact he's not cheating, I'm sure there's plenty. Stay strong and stay positive pink butterflies.

[WoundedHealer55]

It's a relief to know there are others out there seeking help for themselves with this issue. I have been suffering from morbid jealousy a.k.a. delusional jealousy since i was 12 years old and in my first dating scenario. Through my own research i have discovered there most likely is an underlying issue which preceded it. Possibly BPD but I am not certain. I have only been in therapy for a month after avoiding it for 20 years.

I recently found out from my mother that my father had morbid jealousy when they were together. Upon questioning him in hopes of getting some solutions he denied remembering having any symptoms or experiences with it at all. Everyone in his family is either mentally ill or has a history of domestic violence/substance abuse. I am afraid to tell my therapist or anyone how I really feel because of what the internet says is the protocol for these types of violent thoughts.

I am afraid to go outside of my house or make friends because of the way he looks at other women and it destroys me. I have read forums from thousands of other women who say the same thing about their men, yet have apparently no mental illnesses and they all say the same thing,
"Talk to him about it. If he doesn't stop doing it, leave him."
Apparently men looking at other women hurts alot more women than i thought. This is sort of comforting, yet simultaneously questionable. Did society create this??

I have no social life whatsoever and I constantly feel as if i am being attacked, poisoned, or intentionally deluded from the truth everywhere I go and with every interaction. I cannot go to restaurants because I was actually intentionally poisoned once and now my brain convinces me that the food tastes like soap and that the chef put meat juice in it just to be spiteful (I am vegan).

I tried to go out to a party once with him in the past year and every time i turned around he was dancing with another girl! Then it was a red-headed girl! It was an all night party of which we attended for less than an hour and spent 6+ hours in the car because a friend had ridden with us and needed a ride. It feels like everywhere i go women are always trying to 'attack' me. It feels like gingers are my worst nightmare. Why? Why does the world see them as seductresses who exist not to steal your man's heart away but his fidelity? What is wrong with me??? In my past relationship also i was CONVINCED that if anyone stole him away it would be a ginger...

I have sabotaged most good things in my life from myself. Because of severe mental illness and medical issues caused by sexual abuse as a child I was unable to get close to ANYONE in a relationship until i was 21 years old. It is safe to say that I have never had a healthy relationship with myself or anyone else. In the beginning of my current relationship my partner disappeared with his ex for 3 days and didn't invite me. He denies (2 years later) that there was anything wrong with his actions. This has created utter disdain between us. I have brought it up way too many times and what is really awful is that he actually apologized for it once and admitted he was wrong. Then the next day he denied apologizing and denied admitting he did anything wrong. Gas-lighting?? I think so. I don't trust him at all but i have never trusted anyone else either. I had 5 major suicide attempts before we met, that have caused severe damage to my brain and body. I was also severely abused as a child by a meth addict.

I don't know where else to turn but i really need help. I abused substances in my 20's but have been sober more than a year. I can't even have one drink occasionally because it will spiral into a habit that gets worse and worse. The more sober i get the crazier I feel. I don't want medication. I don't trust doctors. I have recently quit cannabis after a 19 year addiction. I have 2 sleeping disorders and was using cannabis at night to be able to sleep. It has been 14 days since i quit and I have wanted to admit myself to the hospital several times during these past two weeks. My partner is also schitzophrenic and hears voices regularly.

He is a good father to my daughter who isn't his child. He is overall -a good man. I'm sure there are better out there, but he is by far better than any guy that came before in my life. I was in several abusive relationships prior to this where a guy actually strangled me and tried to kill me 3 times and I stayed until the 3rd time. My current partner has never physically hurt me but the fact that he can't admit what he did in the beginning was wrong makes me unable to forgive even though i truly want to. I feel more unstable than ever before.
The other day he talked to an attractive woman at the store and I kicked him!!! I feel terrible.

So many women are jealous on a much more subtler level than this yet they don't even recognize or admit it- some do. Some women are not jealous at all. My heart says it may be connected to invalidation as a child along with other developed mental illnesses.

Please don't hate me or judge me for being brutally honest. I truly need your help. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[LittleEarthquakes]

I have a scary recurring delusion that I won't say here, but I relate.

[Morgonstar100]

And when you are jealous, is it something that he CAN do to convince you that he did nothing?

I have a boyfriend that is jealous.
Once I bought flowers to myself, and he got angry when he saw the, left my house and did not reoly my texts until the next afternoon.
He thought someone had bought them for me.
I had not saved the receipt.
But actually - he said that even if I had it, that just proved that I wanted to make hin jealous by purpose for the kind of flowers (red ros) was only something that you give in a romantic purpose

There has been severalt times when I Think, how can I prove to him that he can trust me?
Is it anything that I as a partner can to do stop the jealousy?

[Morgonstar100]

Originally Posted by WoundedHealer55

It's a relief to know there are others out there seeking help for themselves with this issue. I have been suffering from morbid jealousy a.k.a. delusional jealousy since i was 12 years old and in my first dating scenario. Through my own research i have discovered there most likely is an underlying issue which preceded it. Possibly BPD but I am not certain. I have only been in therapy for a month after avoiding it for 20 years.

I recently found out from my mother that my father had morbid jealousy when they were together. Upon questioning him in hopes of getting some solutions he denied remembering having any symptoms or experiences with it at all. Everyone in his family is either mentally ill or has a history of domestic violence/substance abuse. I am afraid to tell my therapist or anyone how I really feel because of what the internet says is the protocol for these types of violent thoughts.

I am afraid to go outside of my house or make friends because of the way he looks at other women and it destroys me. I have read forums from thousands of other women who say the same thing about their men, yet have apparently no mental illnesses and they all say the same thing,
"Talk to him about it. If he doesn't stop doing it, leave him."
Apparently men looking at other women hurts alot more women than i thought. This is sort of comforting, yet simultaneously questionable. Did society create this??

I have no social life whatsoever and I constantly feel as if i am being attacked, poisoned, or intentionally deluded from the truth everywhere I go and with every interaction. I cannot go to restaurants because I was actually intentionally poisoned once and now my brain convinces me that the food tastes like soap and that the chef put meat juice in it just to be spiteful (I am vegan).

I tried to go out to a party once with him in the past year and every time i turned around he was dancing with another girl! Then it was a red-headed girl! It was an all night party of which we attended for less than an hour and spent 6+ hours in the car because a friend had ridden with us and needed a ride. It feels like everywhere i go women are always trying to 'attack' me. It feels like gingers are my worst nightmare. Why? Why does the world see them as seductresses who exist not to steal your man's heart away but his fidelity? What is wrong with me??? In my past relationship also i was CONVINCED that if anyone stole him away it would be a ginger...

I have sabotaged most good things in my life from myself. Because of severe mental illness and medical issues caused by sexual abuse as a child I was unable to get close to ANYONE in a relationship until i was 21 years old. It is safe to say that I have never had a healthy relationship with myself or anyone else. In the beginning of my current relationship my partner disappeared with his ex for 3 days and didn't invite me. He denies (2 years later) that there was anything wrong with his actions. This has created utter disdain between us. I have brought it up way too many times and what is really awful is that he actually apologized for it once and admitted he was wrong. Then the next day he denied apologizing and denied admitting he did anything wrong. Gas-lighting?? I think so. I don't trust him at all but i have never trusted anyone else either. I had 5 major suicide attempts before we met, that have caused severe damage to my brain and body. I was also severely abused as a child by a meth addict.

I don't know where else to turn but i really need help. I abused substances in my 20's but have been sober more than a year. I can't even have one drink occasionally because it will spiral into a habit that gets worse and worse. The more sober i get the crazier I feel. I don't want medication. I don't trust doctors. I have recently quit cannabis after a 19 year addiction. I have 2 sleeping disorders and was using cannabis at night to be able to sleep. It has been 14 days since i quit and I have wanted to admit myself to the hospital several times during these past two weeks. My partner is also schitzophrenic and hears voices regularly.

He is a good father to my daughter who isn't his child. He is overall -a good man. I'm sure there are better out there, but he is by far better than any guy that came before in my life. I was in several abusive relationships prior to this where a guy actually strangled me and tried to kill me 3 times and I stayed until the 3rd time. My current partner has never physically hurt me but the fact that he can't admit what he did in the beginning was wrong makes me unable to forgive even though i truly want to. I feel more unstable than ever before.
The other day he talked to an attractive woman at the store and I kicked him!!! I feel terrible.

So many women are jealous on a much more subtler level than this yet they don't even recognize or admit it- some do. Some women are not jealous at all. My heart says it may be connected to invalidation as a child along with other developed mental illnesses.

Please don't hate me or judge me for being brutally honest. I truly need your help. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Oh how I wish I could give any advice. The feeling of jealousy is awful. Once awakened it is like poision, and is put like a filter on everything you see, so even ordinary behaviour could look like a threat. I do not Think you should be ashamed. This is very painful for you and your partner and you also know that is a problem you do not want - not everyone is aware of that I assure you.
I defintiely Think you should talk with professional help, if you have someone you trust. Because you are not alone, not the first and will not be the last.
And your partner needs to be involved.

I really wish you the best, I know how good things can be affected because of this.
Take care of yourself

[FallDuskTrain]

Originally Posted by PinkButterflies8915

So I've learned recently that apparently a lot of us may become delusional when stressed. I know not everyone experiences this but I'm wondering if I struggle with it. I just don't want to say I do if I don't. However sometimes when I'm stressed out I start believing things that have no evidence for them and I can't shake them off. The most common one is that my boyfriend is cheating on me with a particular friend of his. Every so often I'll question him about it and he'll tell me that he's absolutely not cheating on me, he's a pretty trustworthy guy. But its like it doesn't even matter to me in those moments. I have violent thoughts (which I would not act on), I become incredibly upset and anxious because I'm convinced of this belief. Is this delusional behavior? Like I said nothing can shake this off and I'm scared of acting this way again.

Going to back to the OP above....
PinkButterflies, I don’t think every single emotion you experience is due to BDP. At times your intuition might be trying to tell you something and in this case and you will need to learn to distinguish the two. Is it your intuition or your personality disorder?
I tend to get jealous in relationships as well and if I cannot back it up with a sensible reasoning, I realize that my fear of abandonment is driving my emotions.
In this case, why do you think that your bf might be cheating on you with this other chick? Has she ever done or said anything to indicate that? Is she nice to you? How often do they spend time together?

[Luctor]

Yes, for me delusional jealousy was a definite feature. If my partner went to the shops and took even 2 mins longer than expected I would fill my mind with all sorts of irrational thoughts, often becoming enraged and seeing it as a sign that they didn't really care for me.