[-Astral-]

My friend say me and my husband are codependent on each other we are hardly ever apart from each other i have to be with him because am ill and he feels he has to take care of me as i cant look after myself on my own is this part of BPD? what can we do about i feel am damaged by things in my childhood never had anyone else who cared and loves me so much he would do anything for me even if it was to make his life harder i need this to stop i need him to deal with his own stuff my friend asked him a question about himself without me or my illness the only thing he could think about was our cats he need to put his needs first and he need to put me second we are having problems at the moment and we dont want things to get worse but i feel like all this is my fault because i have this illness i make small things like a biggest thing ever and am always in crisis all the time non stop i hate myself for this and i feel like i should self injure all the time but if i do that its going to make things harder for him
i dont want him to be stressed but he is stress all the time because of one day he may have a heart attack or stoke because we are fighting so much ill end up killing him and that would be my fault i hate this illness

[Skeezyks]

I'm sorry the two of you find yourselves in this most difficult situation. I can sympathize, somewhat, because I know my own mental health problems place a lot of stress on my wife that otherwise would not be there.

Unfortunately, I don't know what to suggest here other than for your husband to get some counseling or therapy of his own, if he's not already doing so. (Perhaps he is?) And beyond that some couples counseling, for the two of you, might be beneficial as well. It would also probably be valuable for your husband to have some time of his own away from home, perhaps with some friends, on a weekly basis so he has an ongoing opportunity to "recharge his batteries", so to speak.

Here's a link to an article, from PsychCentral's archives, on the subject of caring for a spouse or partner who has a mental illness. Perhaps some of the suggestions in this article can be of some help:

https://psychcentral.com/lib/when-me...s-for-couples/